Well, there is one card the wite rat wuz born to pose for See for yerself. And the thing of it is, he's too stoopid to know we're making fun of him!!!!! He just thinks it's grate that he gits to ware hats and they tell him how cyoot his is. Sheesh. I feel my own IQ dropping while I'm forced to wallow in this sea of stoopidity.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/well-there-is-one-card-wite-rat-wuz.html

Today was wurse than St Patrick's Day becuz the wite rat just abowt wet his pants he wuz so excited about pozing for the Eester card and gitting to ware bunney eers. Well, that's fine with me becuz then I'm not stuk waring the stoopid bunney eers, but he just woodn't shut up abowt how they picked him over me, and how he was looking forward to a career in modeling, and I'm sorry, I just had to lay it on the line 4 him. I sed, Skeezix, yer a big-eared, cross-eyed freek, and the only place you'll git to model for is the Freek Museum. Then I felt bad becuz I cood see I hert his feelings, so I played with him a little bit.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/today-was-wurse-than-st-patricks-day.html

No matter ware I try to nap, that little wite rat cums up to sleep with me, and stiks his poop-hole rite in my face.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/no-matter-ware-i-try-to-nap-that.html

I hate Mundays. The little wite rat haz no one to play with but me. Time for a smak-down.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/i-hate-mundays.html

Heer is a pikchur of me and the little wite rat. He's akshully more like a big-eered bat, if yoo no wut I meen.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/heer-is-pikchur-of-me-and-little-wite.html

Sumbudy call the paramedics, I think I'm gonna die. That little wite rat is the most flatulent creechur on the planet Erth, and gess hoo gits to sleep with him??? Sumthings just not rite with his innerds. I told him not to do it arownd me, but he never ever lissens to me, even tho I'm older and wizer.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/sumbudy-call-paramedics-i-think-im.html

Today may have been the second wurst day of my entire life. I finely had it up to heer with the wite rat, becuz he REEEEKS of poop and he eets sloppy so his nose and his face R encrusted with Fancy Feast crusties, and then he wants to kerl up and sleep with me with his poophole prest rite aginst my sensitiv noze. NFW, my frend. I finely sat him down and shode him how to lik himself, like evry self-respecting cat is suposed to, and how to kleen the cat food out of his nose and his eers and stuff. What a freekin pigpen. And it wuz just abowt impossibul to get him to focus on the kleening part becuz he diskovered he cood lik his goodie sak, too, and that's how he spent the rest of the afternoon. Well, at leest I wuz able to git sum rest.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/today-may-have-been-second-wurst-day.html

That wite rat Skeezix is such a doofus. He thinks it's grate that he wuz "speshully selected" to pose for the St Patrick's day card. Hello, dipstik. Dressing up in stoopid costooms is undignified and ixhausting. I git treets, so sumtimes I don't mind it, but he wuz like, "PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!" "Yay, they picked me for the pikchur!!!"

Well, at leest it ment that wile he wuz pozing, I got a little peece and qwiet.

Here is his pikchur: have yoo ever seen anything so STOOPID????

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/that-wite-rat-skeezix-is-such-doofus.html

The little wite rat Skeezix told me I shood step into the 21st cenchury and rite a blog. Like all the wite rat's ideas, this one sux. Every minit spent blogging is one less minit spent napping, yoo no wut i meen? So, if yoo want to reed a blog, reed Skeezix's blog. Skeezix is the big-eared cross-eyed freek whom I refer to as the wite rat.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/03/little-wite-rat-skeezix-told-me-i.html