Me and the wite rat have our own bedroom, and we git lokt in thare at nite becuz the wite rat wakes everybody in the howse up with his insessant playing. (I'm like, now yoo no wut I go thru 24 howrs a day!!) Anyway, I helped him brake out this morning becuz last nite he tried to eet a pork chop, and I herd that pork chops R not good for cats, so I thot if I cood help him git down thare B4 the peeple wake up, maybe he'll find a pork chop to eet and he'll haf to spend a few daze at the vet man's, wich wood meen peece and qwiet for me. Well, the stoopid wite rat dint find a pork chop, but he got this yellow stuff all over his little rat noze, and it looked like he got peed on. And it staned his albino wite rat fur so he may look like a peed-on wite rat for the rest of his life. He didn't seem to mind it so much, but I wuz like, "DOOFUS!!! JUST LOOK AT YERSELF!" And he wuz like, "ya, so?" Yoo see wut I meen abowt him not being dignified????

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/me-and-wite-rat-have-our-own-bedroom.html

So last nite, the wite rate jumped up on a shelf in the hallway in the middul of the nite and knocked down a very valuable priceless fotograf that the Food Guy took and its glass broke win it fell and of cors this woke me up frum a very sound sleep and I thot Armageddin had come becuz the crash was so lowd. So I tride to put the feer of gawd into him by explaning that if he didn't stop with his hijinx, he wuz going to be shipped off to an experimentul laboratory. And win I sed it, I hoped a little bit that that wood cum troo, even tho sumtimes he makes a nice warm pillow.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/so-last-nite-wite-rate-jumped-up-on.html

The wite rat is such a BABY!!! I sware. So up on the cat heeter, he seez the sock puppet and he goes, "Mao! It's the big-eyed dog! I think he's gonna eet me! I'm scared!" And even tho I tell him for like the qwadrillionth time that the big-eyed dog is just a freekin' PUPPET, he still clings to me like velcro and sez he's scared." Sheesh.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/wite-rat-is-such-baby-i-sware.html

So the wite rat posed for a Mother's Day pikchur. You can see it here. Get a load of that sissy pink apron. He is so lame - pink is his faverit color. I keep telling him, "We're BOYS, Skeezix, WE DON'T DO PINK!!!" But he says he likes pink and he's gonna keep waring it.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/so-wite-rat-posed-for-mothers-day.html

OK, I won't make fun of the wite rat posing for pikchurs anymore becuz I wuz forced to today. The good thing was, I got fed lots of Pitr Pats, my very faverit treet. The bad thing is, I'll be the butt of a bunch of Taco Bell Chiwawa jokes. I think I'll hang out indoors for the next coupla months.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/ok-i-wont-make-fun-of-wite-rat-posing.html

The little wite rat barfed on my bed agin and it reeked. But he looked a little green around the gills, so I didn't make as much of a fuss as I usually do. After all, he seems to barf in my bed about every other day.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/little-wite-rat-barfed-on-my-bed-agin.html

OH MY GAWD I'm living with a Ferengi. Look at those ears. They're like twice as big as mine. And he doesn't even realize that he looks like a big doofus!!!!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/05/oh-my-gawd-im-living-with-ferengi.html