YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! The food man brot the food lady home this afternoon. She wuz wut they call woozy, and she hert, and she stayed in the bed mostly, but at leest she didn't git eeten by a wild forest creechur. I curled up in her armpit, wich is my faverit spot, and purrrred 4 like ten howrs strate. I hope she never leeeves agin.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/yayyyyyy-food-man-brot-food-lady-home.html

Still no food lady. We still git fed, becuz the food man is heer, but I'm still very nervus without her here at home. I'm pritty surtin that one of those big deers that we see in the front yard eeting ag-uh-pan-thus wint nutz and attact her and ate her. The deers are very scary creechurs. Or maybe a skunk disabuld her with thare strong smell, and then ate her. Or the coonz! They are vary vishus and thare always lookin for sumthing to eet. Today, I got a total of 19 howrs of sleep, I wuz so werried. Pleez, food lady, if yer reeeding this, cum home!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/still-no-food-lady.html

Sumthing bad happind. The food lady is not heer. The food man goze owt and cums back, but he cums bak withowt her. I wonder if sum scary creechurs ate her. The food man let me and the wite rat sleep with him becuz he cood tell we wer werried. This sitchyooashun makes me nervus. I can't sleep more than 20 howrs a day, I'm so werried. I reely luv the food lady becuz she always treets me like I am dignified. Oh, I hope she cums home soon. I think I'll go owt and hang with Rockey by the sidewok to wate 4 her.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/sumthing-bad-happind.html

So the wite rat pozed for a fishing foto. At leest fishing is interesting, espeshully win yoo hav a pole so yoo don't git yer poz wet. But win he got thru, he wuz all hyper, and he wuz like, "Mao, will yoo take me fishin'? Huh? Pleez? Pretty Pleez? It was tempting, since I cood probably ditch him in the forist.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/so-wite-rat-pozed-for-fishing-foto.html

So the wite rat pozed 4 anuther pikchur, and yoo woodn't beleeve how hopelessly ugly it wuz. Yoo cood use his long pointy noze as an aircraft carrier. And yoo won't beleeve this, but he thot it made him look REGAL!!!! And I'm like, more like King of the Ugly Wite Rats!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/so-wite-rat-pozed-4-anuther-pikchur.html

So the wite rat goze on and on about how much he luvs tape, and what a grate thing a tape fetish is. And I'm like, "DOOFUS! Yer a perv!"

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/so-wite-rat-goze-on-and-on-about-how.html

So the wite rat wuz all excited agin about dressing up in a stoopid costoom and pozing for a pikchur. This time it was a stoopid kap and gown, and he wuz going, "Look, I'm a gradjewit!" And I'm like, "Yer too stoopid to even git thru kindagardin."

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2005/06/so-wite-rat-wuz-all-excited-agin-about.html