Simeze Cat Fetching Like a Dog

Here is a fetching Simeze cat videeyo. I fetch, too, but this cat does it reely good. Simeze are good natchurul fetchers. This cat's name is Chai. I wunder if they wood swap Chai for Skeezix?

Simeze Cat Fetching Like a Dog

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/simeze-cat-fetching-like-dog.html

Well, it's a little cooler, wich meens there is a chance I won't git a lion cut after all. But in the bad news departmint, food lady and food man wint away this afternoon and sed they'd be home late, and that I wood have to babysit the wite rat wile they were gon. Do they know how hard it is to keep him out of trubbul???? And he never lissens to me win I try to boss him arownd. I think I'm just gonna tern him loose on the innernet, and then I'll go take a nap.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/well-its-little-cooler-wich-meens.html

I got in trubbul last nite. It was nice at first. It was so hot, the peeple left the bedroom doors open for ventulashun so I got to sleep with food lady. That was nice. I coodn't stop purring. And win it's so hot, wite rat isn't so much into the sleeping on top of me thing. And I was feeling so good abowt things that I wint and got my pussy pleezer toy, wich is a plastic wand with a rainbow snake on it. It is my all-time faverit toy of toys. They forgot to hide it before they wint to bed, so I wint and got it and brot it into the bedroom in my mouth and tried to wake evryone up so we cood play. Well, not evryone was in a playful mood at 3am. In fact, I wuz the only one reddy to play. So food lady woke up and yelled "MAOBERT SCHNICKELS!" wich is an indikashun that she's mad at me, and she put me and wite rat out in the hallway and clozed the door. Wich is win I realized I maybe shoodn't have tride to wake evryone up to play. So this morning I upolojized to food lady by being reely affekshunit. I want to stay on her good side so she duzn't give me a lion cut.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/i-got-in-trubbul-last-nite.html

I wuz happy to heer that Lewis the Cat got a reprieve today. He's gonna be under permanent howse arrest, wich will be tuff, but it's better than the alternative. I told the wite rat that if Lewis lost his case, they'd send him off to the sausij factory and make meetballs outta him, wich made the wite rat reely upset and nervus, wich wuz very funny. Me and Rocky had a good laff over that. (Sorry, Lewis, if it wuz kinda at yer expense. Glad to see yer gitting a secund chance.)

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/i-wuz-happy-to-heer-that-lewis-cat-got.html

Food man is sik, now, too. It sux win yer staff is all sik and yoo have no one to wate on yoo hand and foot. And win the peeple git sik, I have to do my "Nurse Mao" thing, ware I stay by thare sides nite and day in case they need anything, and I do my best to keep the wite rat frum bugging them (and that's no eezy feet). So heer's food man, flat on his bak, sik in bed, and I've assoomed the Nurse Mao pozishun so that I'm rite thare if he needs anything. I actually like being Nurse Mao becuz they let me sleep in my faverit armpit spot all day long. Are yoo wundering ware my hat is? The wite rat stole it. Like he can fit it over his hed with his big sattelite dish ears.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/food-man-is-sik-now-too.html

So, food lady is sick. Flat on her bak in bed, hocking up what food guy refers to as "lung butter." When that happens, I have to put on the nurse outfit and do my job, staying at her side to tend to her needs. I was there all day, even tho it was nice outside, and I'd rather have been outdoors. I don't mind it; it's my job. But I also had to trane the wite rat how to do the nursing thing. He slept thru most of the traning. Typical. Here's a pikchur of me in my nurse outfit. No comments frum the peenut gallery, pleeze.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/so-food-lady-is-sick.html

It was a bad morning. We had a little teensy weensy erthqwake that yoo cood hardly feel, and the wite rat just about wint nuts. He jumped on me and asked why the howse was shaking, and to shut him up, I told him that the vishus deer were beeting down the door so they cood eet him for brekfist. And he dives into his heeted fleebag of a cat cup and tries to hide frum the "deer." I told him he'd need to be reely kwiet becuz the deer have reely good heering and that's how they find cats to eet. Well, that kept him frum bugging me for an hour or two, until food man wakes up, and then Skeez runs into the peeple bedroom and hides with the food lady. He spent the rest of the day looking up erthqwake on wikipedia wich took the rest of the day becuz his spelling sux and he duzn't know how to spell erthqwake.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/it-was-bad-morning.html

One of the wite rat's sissy innernet pals sent him a shirt in the male, and he was parading arownd the howse in it last nite, going, "Look at my bling shirt! See the sparkly dimonds?" I just put on my cranky pants and heded outside to sit in the gutter with Rocky to discuss what we did rong to end up having to put up with this girly cat.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/one-of-wite-rats-sissy-innernet-pals.html

Busted. I hijacked the wite rat's XML feed. I'm grownded. Go here to reed Skeezix's blog: http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/busted.html

I like to ketch snakes. Win we lived on a snake hill, I used to bring 2 or 3 snakes a day into the howse, and I'd watch em skwerm wich made my hart beet fast, and I'd throw em up aginst the wall, and food lady wood freek, and ketch em and put them in a box and drive them to the wildlife hospital. Now in our howse by the forest there aren't so many snakes. But I still dreem abowt my happy snake-filled days of long ago. Yoo can't beleeve how excited I am to see the new movie "Snakes on a Plane" (SoaP) abowt to come out. I pikchur myself as a superhero, helping Samuel L Jackson eradicate the squirmy pests and save hyoomanity.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/i-like-to-ketch-snakes.html

What a crappy nite last nite wuz. I curled up on the peeple's bed, on the food lady's side, hoping they woodn't notice and let me stay there all nite, but the food man grabbed me at put me in my own bedroom wich I share with the wite rat, and I sed, "Excuse, NFW, not tonite," and I ran bak into the peeple's bedroom, but the food man ran after me, and cornered me and put me back in the cat bedroom, but I was wily and rezorceful and escaped once agin, and he chased me down and even tho I sed NO! very emfatikly, he scoopt me up and put me in my own heeted cat bed with none other than the wite rat who proceeded to torment me into the wee howrs wanting to play. I simply do not git pade enuf to trane anuther kitten.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/what-crappy-nite-last-nite-wuz.html

I don't think in my hole life I've ever empathized with a dawg, but win I saw this video, I thot: that's exactly how I feel arownd the wite rat. He's like a muskeeto in my ear, buzzing arownd, taking theze stoopid punches at me, wile I'm like, "Whatever. Can I get back to my nap, now?"

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/i-dont-think-in-my-hole-life-ive-ever.html

OK, this is what I'm talking abowt, with me and Rocky patrolling our premises. Today, I herd abowt a cat ("Jack") in New Jerzey who chaste a black bear up a tree -- twice. The bear was in Jack's yard, and yoo know what that meens: yoo are outta heer, black bear! Yoo go, Jack!!!!! Congrats frum me and Rocky! You can reed the article here: "Territorial New Jersey cat proves his mettle by chasing black bear up tree."

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/ok-this-is-what-im-talking-abowt-with.html

Here is my frend Rocky, hoo livs in the gutter. He sleeps there and eets there and comes out to poop in the mulch wich is ware the plants are. We're dignified abowt being frends. We don't like, curl up together, but we do patrol the premises and keep the dawgs in line hoo come by.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/here-is-my-frend-rocky-hoo-livs-in.html

This is me, supervizing Skeezix's wok at nite. Yoo see, the peeple took the wite rat out for a wok on his harniss (the noose) and left me in the howse, so I had to yell at them* frum the balconey, which yoo can see me doing here. I'm going, "the wite rat is owt there unsupervized! The wite rat is owt there unsupervized!" But as usual, they told me to stik a sock in it. I take my jobs very seriously and supervizing the wite rat --- altho I don't particularly like doing it --- is one of my jobs.

________________________
*which I call "cat"-erwalling.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/this-is-me-supervizing-skeezixs-wok-at.html

The food lady wint to bed erly last nite becuz she werked hard the nite B4 and only got 2-1/2 howrs of sleep and so she let me sleep in her armpit until Mr Tasty Face wint to bed. Usually win that happens, he makes me go into my cat bedroom with the wite rat, but last nite he let me stay. Yay! Except for, he let the wite rat stay, too, wich ment that evry 15 minits the wite rat wood wake me up, saying, c'mon Mao, let's play! Let's jump on the piano! Let's ixplore! And at my age, I need my byooteey sleep, so I had to make like the Capital 1 commershul and go NO, no, NO, no, NO! This morning I noticed that those delectible little berds outside the office window flied out of thare nest. Unfortunately, nun of them fell down on the grownd and became my brekfast. But I prefer Fancy Feest to fethers, anyway.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/food-lady-wint-to-bed-erly-last-nite.html

Crap. The food man came home. The wite rat almost wet his pants he wuz so excited. Sheesh. I'm bummed becuz I won't be able to sleep with the food lady tonite: exiled into the cat bedroom with the wite rat. And I wuz having such a good weekend.....

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/crap.html

Food man still gone. Got to sleep with the food lady in the crook of her arm, wich is my faverit spot. The wite rat didn't do that thing he does when he tries to wedge himself between me and the food lady, so that was a good thing for a change.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/food-man-still-gone.html

Got to sleep with the food lady last nite, since the food man wuz not here. It was nice, or wood have been, if the wite rat had gon away with the food man.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/06/got-to-sleep-with-food-lady-last-nite.html