Can yoo beleeve the vanes in the wite rat's ears? It's gross! He is never ever gonna grow hare on hiz ears. I think he needs a cuppul of ear toopays. Or maybe sum of that spray-on hare stuff. Maybe that's wut I'll git him for Krismas.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/can-yoo-beleeve-vanes-in-wite-rats.html

Hey, Look! It's the wite rat's cuzzins!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/hey-look-its-wite-rats-cuzzins.html

Today it was more than 100 degrees inside the inferno that is known as my howse, and it was over 110 degreeze owtside. It made me very very very very crankey. The wite rat wanted to kurl up with me and it was like, git yer furry mop offa me yoo vermin!!! And the food guy kept poring water on me. ARGH!!! I growled and hissd and jeeze, it's just not gitting any kooler. Global warming? Not a mith; it's reeeel, heer in Castro Valley. 2 more daze of this and I'm gonna beg for a lion cut.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/today-it-was-more-than-100-degrees.html

Nice set of lungs!
I fownd this videeyo on youtube.com. I reely liked it becuz it was a Simeez cat just like me, and he likes to talk, just like me.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/nice-set-of-lungs-i-fownd-this-videeyo.html

hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot.html

I've changed my mind abowt gitting a lion cut. Today it wuz like evry step I took, flames shot up out of the grownd. I think the sun must be going supernova. I no abowt supernovas becuz the peeple watch Nova and the Discovury Channul. Supernova meens way hot. On daze like theeze, I wish I wuz a hareliss runt like the wite rat.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/ive-changed-my-mind-abowt-gitting-lion.html

Poor Trip. The Food Lady boxed him up this morning and drove off with him. I'm pritty shoor I no wut that meens: thare gonna go snip snip snip with his goodie sak. I don't even like him that much, but I feel for him. I love the Food Lady a lot, but she is evil evil evil win it comes to her compulshun to castrate boy cats. Makes my little brown goodie sak sore just thinking abowt it. I told the wite rat she was taking Trip to the sausage factory. hahahahahah. Freeked him owt.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/poor-trip.html

The Stoopid Moovey the Wite Rat Made

I cood just pyuke. The wite rat made a moovey this weekend, and it is only abowt the stoopidest thing I've ever seen. Thare is no plot, no karacters, but the wite rat thinks it's just the gratest thing ever. He won't stop talking abowt it. And now he wants me to git dressed up and be in his next moovey.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/stoopid-moovey-wite-rat-made-i-cood.html

Now this is my ideeya of enturtainmint!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/now-this-is-my-ideeya-of-enturtainmint.html

Can yoo BELEEVE this ridicyoolus monstrositey? Heer I am having a look at the wite rat's new Jeep Pet Stroller. I cood not be more imbarrussed or hyoomiliated by being assosiated with such a sissy cat. All he needs is a lisens plate that sez "WEENIE." Me and Rocky followed em down the street becuz we just coodn't beleeve owr eyes, and it looked like they mite be leeving for a long time. So they terned arownd and skooted us bak home, and wint up the street the other way and I followed them going, "Sissy Skeezix Mama's Boy" as lowd as I cood and it was pritty funny becuz the peeple were clooless as uzhual abowt wut I was saying.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/can-yoo-beleeve-this-ridicyoolus.html

That sissy boy wite rat got his tiara. I cood just barf, and not bekuz that's all anyone arownd here has bin doing lately. He was so ixcited, jumping up and down, and making me look at it as if I had even a singul molekyool of interest in his qwest to be the biggest sissy boy ever born. I pointed out to him that he's not exaktly projecting a maskyoolin imij, but as uzhual, he didn't pay attenshun to me for even a split secund.

Look at the magnifisent lion, the KING of the forest. He is the most kingly thing ever, but he doesn't need to ware a krown like Skeezix Sissy Boy.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/that-sissy-boy-wite-rat-got-his-tiara.html

It's been a bizzy cuppul of daze becuz the food peeple have been sik. I just abowt barfed myself today win the male came and there was a box for the wite rat that had his tiara in it, and he just abowt wet his pants he was so ixcited. It was pathetic. But then agin, it's fine with me if he wants to be krowned "Kween Skeezix."

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/its-been-bizzy-cuppul-of-daze-becuz.html

I'm very werried abowt food lady. Last nite, she was up all nite going into the tile room with peepul catbox that has watur running thru it, and trying to hock up a hareball or sumthing. I ran into help her evry time, yelling as lowd as I cood, asking her how I cood help her, but she woodn't tok to me, she just went back to hocking up her hareball, then sitting on the peepul catbox, and then going bak to her bed for like 15 minits and then gitting up agin. I think she may be dying. Food guy keeps putting this stik in her mouth becuz she has a fever, wich meens she's hot. If she dies, hoo will buy me Pitr Pats and Fancy Feest?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/im-very-werried-abowt-food-lady.html

Heer I am in my cat tower, enjoying a littul nip and hiding frum the wite rat. Well, this littul respit duzn't last for long. Before yoo know it, the wite rat jumps up on top and starts swattin' at me, so I swat bak, and this just goze on and on and on like that, swattin' back and forth, with me a littul wacked on nip and all I wanna do is chill but the stoopid wite rat wants to get into the cat tower howse with me and cauze trubbul. Wut did I do to deserv this? I'm an OLD cat, now. I deserv sum peece and qwiet and R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/heer-i-am-in-my-cat-tower-enjoying.html

And yes, today is my berthday. My frend Rocky the Guttercat's birthday, too. Big woop. The wite rat is running arownd, all excited, saying that we need to git balloons and partey hats and stuff. One word abowt that: NO. He forgits that balloons scare the bujezuz out of him. And Rocky sez today isn't even his reel birthday. It's just that the pound peeple pikked a date out of the air win they chekked him in to the SFSPCA. So, to celebrate, Rock' and I are gunna hang out in the gutter together and watch the big exploshuns that always happin on our berthdays. We don't like the exploshuns much, but they don't last too long.

In other developmints today, the frikkin wite rat STOLE MY BORDER for his 4th of July foto. He didn't have any border 2 daze ago, and now he has one EXACTLY like mine. He's a theef, and I don't like it, and I'm gonna rat him owt.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/and-yes-today-is-my-berthday.html

Here is my 4th of July foto. As yoo can see, I look very dignified becuz I am a dignified cat. It is MUCH more dignified than the wite rat's goofy 4th of July foto. Yoo can click here to send this as a free ecard.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/here-is-my-4th-of-july-foto.html

This is a pikchur of Big Bird. The cat I'm with in the pikchur is Joonyer, the best frend I ever had. We were Simeze twins together. One day, just before Krismiss, sumthing happend to him, and I never saw him agin. It broke my hart and I wuz very sad and lonely. It made the food lady and the food guy sad, too, espeshully the food guy becuz Joonyer wuz his best frend. We can't even say the "J-word" arownd the howse at all, ever. We were all sad sad sad. So food lady fownd the wite rat and brot him home so it woodn't be so sad arownd the howse any more. The wite rat is no Joonyer, but he has his moments.

So Big Bird visited our howse a lot for a wile, and then it wint away and never came back. This pikchur is of the first time we saw it. It wuz like we were in land of the giants. It kind of made us afrade of going outside, becuz it looked like Big Bird cood eat us. He also flied up in the tree at nite and made horribly fritening monster sownds that sownded like he was saying, "I'm gonna eat yoo kitties!"

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/this-is-pikchur-of-big-bird.html

One of my nicknames is "Mao the Spacecat." I have a Mao the Spacecat theme song that wint with the myoosic frum Star Trek Voyager. So I thot yoo mite be interested in this articul abowt space cats. Well, it's sort of abowt cats in space. I keep hoping that maybe I can volunteer for the space program to git away frum the wite rat. You can reed the articul here. It toks abowt why cats purr. It's a long-held secret amung cats, and none of us are gonna let the hyoomans know why we do it. But thare welcum to keep on doing the reeserch.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/one-of-my-nicknames-is-mao-spacecat.html

Well, at leest it's not as hot as it wuz last week. The food lady isn't tokking aowt gitting me a lion cut anymore. She has absolootely NO CONCEPT of how important my dignitey is to me. Heer's what I meen abowt dignity. See the pikchur below? That's me and the wite rat sleeping. Hoo looks more dignified? Need I say more?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/07/well-at-leest-its-not-as-hot-as-it-wuz.html