I have an importunt annownsmint to make. After days of R&D, my gutter cat frend Rocky and me have develupt an importunt new produkt: Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt. I know yer all a littul skared of the vishus deer, so Rocky and I have develupt a patin-pending formyooluh garunteed to keep the vishus deer frum eeting yoo. It comes with a money-bak garuntee. That meens, if the vishus deer eet yoo after yoo use this amazing product, yoo'll git evry penny of yer money bak. Me and Rocky are doing this just so all of Skeezix's littul cat frends can relax and not werry abowt the vishus deer. And, if yoo order in the next fifteen minutes, yoo'll get my best-selling booklit, "How to live with a pesty stinky yunger bruther hoo looks like a wite rat" absolootely free. Just send all yer allowince to me and Rocky heer: Big Pointy-Roof House after the curve in the Street with the Bloo Masheens out frunt, Castro Valley by the big forest.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-have-importunt-annownsmint-to-make.html

Heer is my "Git Well" foto for Rosie & Cheeto's Lady hoo was sik this week. Git well, lady! And R&C -- don't fergit to stay reel close to yer lady in case she needs anything!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/heer-is-my-git-well-foto-for-rosie.html

This is an ixample of why I'm kranky. How can I git enuf sleep win I have a wite rat clinging to me like a barnicle?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/this-is-ixample-of-why-im-kranky.html

Today was a very very bad day. Aside frum the fakt that Rocky the Loozer Guttercat keeps STEELING stuff frum my blog for his blog, my howse got fild up with a lot of very very very lowd peeple today so I had to run away frum home until late tonite becuz I HATE stranje peeple, espeshully small lowd ones. The only good thing is that the wite rat has a lot of snakes left over frum filming his moovey that I can play with.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/today-was-very-very-bad-day.html

This "Cats on a Plane" moovey is just SO MUCH BETTER than the stoopid wite rat's moovey, even tho the wite rat IS tite with SLJ.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/this-cats-on-plane-moovey-is-just-so.html

Gizmo Flushes and Flushes and....

I don't know hoo Gizmo is, but this cat has one freeking weird habit.... this reely crakt me up!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/gizmo-flushes-and-flushes-and.html

THIS IS MY ONE HUNDREDTH POST. I'm not having a party or anything like that, just thot I'd let yoo all know.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/this-is-my-one-hundredth-post.html

I found this moovey to illustrate what horrifik things big bruther cats have to endyoor at the hands of wite rat baby bruthers. Yoo'll notise in this moovey that the wite rat is nursing on the older cat. Well, just so yoo know, the older cat is not his muther, is not related, and in fact is a BOY CAT LIKE ME!!! Latte, Bonnie Underfoot and I'm shoor, many others can testify that life is very very hard on older siblings. Shoor, the wite rat looks kyoot, but wood YOO want him nursing on YOO?????

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-found-this-moovey-to-illustrate-what.html

I just thot of sum more weird things abowt me:

1. When the Food Lady does her kissy-face thing with me, without even tuching me, I wince and recoil. I do that just at the very sownd of kissy face.
2. Evry nite, I collekt all my shiny tinsel balls and put them in my food dish.
3. I can say my name.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-just-thot-of-sum-more-weird-things.html

The food guy showed up yesterday morning with a wite and orange truck that he put in the driveway. That uzhully meens we're going to live at a new howse. I kind of like that part becuz win they git reddy to go to a new howse, they put stuff in brown boxes in all the rooms in the howse, and I love having so many good boxes arownd. But this time thare were no brown boxes and they just put crap frum the yard and the garaje in the truk and drove away and the truk never came back, so I don't think we're mooving to a new howse. I jumped in the back of the truk win it was in the driveway and inspected it. As far as I cood tell, they didn't throw away any of my good cat toys. That's importunt becuz the food guy will throw just abowt anything away if it isn't naled down, inclooding my good cat toys.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/food-guy-showed-up-yesterday-morning.html

I was tagged, so heer's the deel:

Post 5 weird things/habits about yourself. Choose 5 cats to be tagged and list their names. The cats who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

So heer are my habits. I am not weerd. If yoo wunt weerd, go reed the wite rat's blog.

1. I hate closed doors. Win the peeple go into their catbox room with the tile, I sit owtside and yowl. Lowd.
2. When anyone says my full name (Maobert Schnickels) I wag my tail.
3. My faverit toy is my rainbow fleece wand. Evry nite, abowt 3am, I go find it (if they haven't hided it) and I walk thru the howse carrying it in my mouth yelling as lowd as I can yell, demanding that they play with me. They uzhually don't.
4. I have an extensive vokabulery and intonayshuns so that I commyunikate very well with peeple and they understand exactly what I'm saying. I can even cuss.
5. My faverit TeeVee show is Star Trek the Next Genurayshun. I want to be a SpaceCat.

So hoo do I tag? I think Rosie and Cheeto for starters. They can rite in their Catster diary. And Tripper and Babe and Sweetie Pie.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-was-tagged-so-heers-deelpost-5-weird.html

The HOTS are back. Time to put on my cranky pants, except it's too hot to ware them.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/hots-are-back.html

I'm more than a little conserned to discuver that hyoomans may have discovered one of Catdom's means of securing werld dominayshun. I red this articul today:

Cat Parasite May Have Altered Human History
full story: http://www.kltv.com/global/story.asp?s=5258681

Kevin Laferty is a smart, cautious, thoughtful scientist who doesn't hate cats, but he has put forth a provocative theory that suggests that a clever cat parasite may alter human cultures on a massive scale.

His phone hasn't stopped ringing since he published one of the strangest research papers to come out of the mill in quite awhile.

The parasite, Toxoplasma gondii, has been transmitted indirectly from cats to roughly half the people on the planet, and it has been shown to affect human personalities in different ways.

Research has shown that women who are infected with the parasite tend to be more warm, outgoing and attentive to others, while infected men tend to be less intelligent and probably a bit boring. But both men and women who are infected are more prone to feeling guilty and insecure.

Other researchers have linked the parasite to schizophrenia. In an adult, the symptoms are like a mild form of flu, but it can be much more serious in an infant or fetus. Oxford University researchers believe high levels of the parasite leads to hyperactivity and lower IQ in children.

>> READ THE FULL STORY HERE

Are you as concerned abowt this breech of secyurity as I am???

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/im-more-than-little-conserned-to.html

I like playing with sparkul balls and fetching them. At nite, I go thru the howse and collekt them all and put them in the bowl with the dry crap I eet. This is a pikchur of that.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-like-playing-with-sparkul-balls-and.html

Not much to report. Forchoonitly, the wether has been very cool lately, so nobuddy talks abowt gittin me a Lion Cut anymore. The wite rat hasn't had the sqwerts in a wile, so my sensitiv noze hasn't had to smell stinky wite rat poop, wich is always a good thing. The peepul are talking abowt clipping my claws, wich is sum of the werst torchur they put me thru. My frend Kismet sed he hates pawdicures, and I'm with him on that. How am I supposed to defend myself frum vishus creechurs, otherwize?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/not-much-to-report.html

I draw the line at fetching in watur. This cat is an African Serval. It's a freek, just like my bruther the wite rat. FREEKS! That other cat thare looks like Rocky. Ixcept he izn't in the gutter and he izn't laying down sleeping.

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2006/08/i-draw-line-at-fetching-in-watur.html