The Kentukey Derby

A cuppul of yoo rekumended I talk to my frend Qweenie abowt gitting a pardun so I won't be on the lam anymore. But she alreddy left Furrginia, so I had to go to Kentukey to see if I cood find her thare. Heer I am on my arrivul:

Qweenie was noware to be seen, so wile I was thare, one of the horse riders offerd to take me owt on a praktiss run. I'd never rided a horse beefore, so I jumped at the chanse. It was vary vary fast. I holded on tite and didn't fall off:

Then I coodn't rezist: I just HAD to klime up on the roof. Yoo git a vary good view frum on top of the roof. I figyerd it wood be a good place frum ware I cood spot Qweenie win she shoze up.

It's a littul hot up heer on the roof. I shooda orderd a mint joolip beefore I wint up heer. Hmmm... and how do I git down?????

The Kentukey Derby

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2007/05/kentukey-derby.html

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

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Whut's Spotted Dick?

Sum of yoo were wundering whut spotted dick was. Heer's the deffynishun. The Food Lady likes to wrap up cans of it and give it as Krissmiss prezints to peepul hoo don't know whut it is. The qween had a can in her handbag becuz she wuzn't shur she cood git it in owr countrey. Heer's ware yoo can reed abowt why they call it that.

Whut's Spotted Dick?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2007/05/whuts-spotted-dick.html

Long live the Qween

Well, I was gonna go ride the swan botes with Lilly Lu today, but then I herd the qween was gonna be in Jamestown, so even tho my buddies Jake and Bathsheba warnd me abowt all the Feds in the Furrjinia area, I took a chanse and wint down to see her becuz then I cood go bak home and glote to the wite rat abowt how I saw the QWEEN and her big honking tiara. Boy wood he be jellus!!!!!

It was werth the trip. I snuk onto the red carpit win she got off the airplane. It was a vary good foto opp. Yoo can biggify it to see it better. I was a littul nerviss arownd all the guys with guns. Reminded of my days in prizzin. I looked for Sanjee and Boni in the crowd, but thare were so many peepul thare, I coodn't see them.

And she reely took a liking to me. She let me sit on her lap and she gave me hed skritches, and she did a pritty good job of it. She even let me look in her handbag, but she swore me to secretsy. I can never reveel its contents. Yoo mite say we bonded. She talked a little like she had marbles in her mowth, but I cood still understand most of whut she sed. She seemed nice enuf. But honestly, she smelled a little like dawgs, so I wasn't 100% at eeze. But she did reemind me a littul of my gramma (hoo also smells like dawgs).

Then, I started batting at thoze silly purple froofy things on her hat and I was asked to leeve.

Long live the Qween

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2007/05/long-live-qween.html

Took the Eff Trayne.....

My good frend Kismet invited me to take the Eff-Trayne to vizit him in Brooklin, ware he and Sophie live. I'm not imberrust to say that the Eff-Trayne is probly called that becuz it is Eff-in' scary. It is vary vary vary vary lowd. I thot my eardrums wood ixplode. And yoo have to go undergrownd to find it. It's like this ginormous LOWD steel gopher that tunnuls thru the grownd at a millyun miles an howr.

They make yoo pay munney to ride on the Eff-Trayne, but sinse I'm on the lam, I don't have many munneys to spare, so I jumped the gate. Sinse I alreddy have a prizzin rekerd, what duz it matter? Heer I am pozing in frunt of the gate I jumped. Win yoo jump the gate, yoo don't have to pay munneys to ride the trayne. This is just one of the many things I lernt in prizzin.

Once I jumped the gate, I had to go underneeth the grownd to the hole the Eff-Trayne goze thru to git to Brooklin. It is vary stinky under the grownd and thare are vary many lowd peepul hoo all talk funny. The sine sed "Subway" but I didn't see any sanwiches, and I cooda gone for a nice ham sanwich cuz I was pritty hungry. My tale got stept on TWICE and the peepul didn't even say, "I'm sorry" or "exkyooze me."

It took a big leep of faith to klime onto the Eff-Trayne, but I knew Kismet was waiting for me, so I swallowed my feer and jumped abord. This is what I looked like wile I was waiting for the Eff-Trayne to run over me:

Win I got to Kismet's stop, I klimed owt, and his apartmint was RITE THARE! Sinse I'd bin breething in all that stinky air for so long, Kismet invited me to the jungle owtside his howse to kleer my nostrils. It was pritty fun. Heer we are --- I think this is a funny pikcher cuz it shoze how humungous Kismet's booty is:

As yoo can see, he definitely IS a BIG MAN CAT!!!! I was imprest. Sophie duzn't git to go owtside, so it was just the 2 of us guys, hangin' owt. (Wich was kinda too bad, cuz Sophie is reely a looker, but don't tell Kaze.) It was vary fun and vary relaxing. I cood not BEELEEVE how much grass Kismet eets! It's like he can't git enuf of it. He just eats and eats and eats it. Then we wint bak in the apartmint and blew chunks. After that, I was axed to leeve.

Took the Eff Trayne.....

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2007/05/took-eff-trayne.html

Sumware in New York.....

I got a misteerius messije in my Catster emale today. It sed, "dere'z room fer mao at ekstra help!" So I fownd my way to a classroom sumware in New York, and got to spend the afternoon with a bunch of vary nice kids, and I even helped a cuppul with thare homewerk. They were vary happy to meet me, and altho they asked way too many qweschuns abowt the wite rat (they even have a pikcher of him thare!), it was overall a vary nice way to spend an afternoon. I was a littul nervus arownd so many feets, but no one stept on my tale, not even once!

Then Me and Jete' and Matsui and Whitey and Mickey and Laffin lissend to the Yankees game and it was vary ixsiting if a littul bittersweet, becuz altho the Yankees wunned the game, Fill Hyooz hert his leg wile pitching more than six innings of no-hit ball. Matsui was vary ixsited win Matsui got a dubbul. Afterwerd, Jete' gave me sum tips on how to klime trees, and how to get down frum the roof withowt gitting stuk.

After all that, I can only say, "LIFE IS GRATE!"

Sumware in New York.....

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/maosMews/2007/05/sumware-in-new-york.html