Catastrophe begins with "cat"
Last nite, I was on my usual patrol of the premises when I made a dizaster. I was up on the cownter in the kitchin, heding thru the little pass-thru door into the dining room (from there, I patrol the living room and the family room, and the big downstairs piano, and then upstairs, and then back down to the kitchen again), wen sumthing spooked me. I usually try to be brave, but this was reely startling, and I jumped 2 feet strate up in the air, like a rockit! Wen I came down, all hell broke loose. I nocked down a plate, and a tray of muffins for church refreshmints rained down on the floor, and sum other lowd rattle-y stuff made crashing sownds on the cownter. Of corse, the Food Lady yelled (you gessed it!) "OH SKEEZIX!" and I went to hide behind the cowch for a long, long, long time -- at leest 2 minits or so.
The Food Lady doesn't like it wen I get up on the cownter, but she doesn't understand how important my job is, and I like to be thorough wen I do my patrols, and I can't be thorough if all I'm patroling is what I can see frum the floor, because I'm just a hairless little runt and I can't see up hi like the peeple do. When I'm up on the cownter, I can see almost as hi as the peeple do, and I can also jump down on top of my big bruther Mao if he's wokking by (boy, he hates that!). When I patrol, I go clockwise thru the kitchen, and I check out the back deck to see if there are coonz and possumz and skunks out there in my territory, and then I jump up on the cownter to shortcut into the dining room. I make my rownds about every 3-1/2 minutes: it's a lot of werk! (And frankly, I don't think they reely appreshiate it all that much.)
Anyway, after the Food Lady picked all the cat hair and floor fuzz off the muffins, trying to decide wether to serve them anyway or make new ones for the church peeple, she came and fownd me and hugged me really nice and told me what a good boy I was, and I sat on her sholder and purred for about ten minits until the terror wint away. Now I know why catastrophe begins with "cat."
The Food Lady doesn't like it wen I get up on the cownter, but she doesn't understand how important my job is, and I like to be thorough wen I do my patrols, and I can't be thorough if all I'm patroling is what I can see frum the floor, because I'm just a hairless little runt and I can't see up hi like the peeple do. When I'm up on the cownter, I can see almost as hi as the peeple do, and I can also jump down on top of my big bruther Mao if he's wokking by (boy, he hates that!). When I patrol, I go clockwise thru the kitchen, and I check out the back deck to see if there are coonz and possumz and skunks out there in my territory, and then I jump up on the cownter to shortcut into the dining room. I make my rownds about every 3-1/2 minutes: it's a lot of werk! (And frankly, I don't think they reely appreshiate it all that much.)
Anyway, after the Food Lady picked all the cat hair and floor fuzz off the muffins, trying to decide wether to serve them anyway or make new ones for the church peeple, she came and fownd me and hugged me really nice and told me what a good boy I was, and I sat on her sholder and purred for about ten minits until the terror wint away. Now I know why catastrophe begins with "cat."
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