A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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6 Comments:
Wow Skeezix, you have the BESTEST people ever. The Chip Man would never in a million years buy me such a cool thing. It must be all that face licking you do, maybe I'll try that.
Latte -- Not only will the face likking make them buy more stuff for yoo, but it will also give yer Chip Man a very nice complexion. A waitriss at the Harris Ranch restrunt told Mr Tasty Face wut nice skin he had, and asked what he did to make it that way. For sum reezun, Mr Tasty Face woodn't tell her abowt all the face likking.
I see that stroler is for cats up to 70 lbs!! I've never seen a cat over 25 lbs...would a 70 lb cat be bigger or just a fat blob? Anyway, since you're much smaller, there must be LOTS of space for taking along your favorite stuff!! ^_^
Bravely, it meens that the stroller cood probly fit 8 or 10 Skeezix-sized cats in it: maybe I need to have a stroller-stuffing contest!
My big bruther Mao rode with me wunce, and thare was plenty of room, ixcept Mao keep pushing me out of the way so he cood sit in the frunt seet. I don't let him ride with me any more.
Yoo forgot to menshun that the stroler is STOOPID, anyway, and that I'd never ride in it agin if you PADE ME!
Aw, come on Mao, give the kid a brake. I think he's stroler is kinda cool. I like the red colur, it matches my coller. THE END.
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