A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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5 Comments:
if it means we don't has to get our teef brushed, we would gets the gold teef. we heard hoo-ha-ectomy from eifer william or timmy. we fergets. we didn't has ours long enuf to know if it was actually a goodie sac.
Fanks fur the publickity, Skeez. I fink the Meezers are right bout the hoo-ha-ectomy comin from Timmy or WMD, but I also heard it from Psycho Kitty Max when he was tellin Buddah how much FUN it would be. Max can be mean like Bonnie sumtimes.
I don't want no one messin wif my teef. They's good the way they are.
Oh! Stosh wanted to send you that photo. He thought Skeezix would love it. Also, Vesper says that it's OK for Stosh to "travel" for a stink-off. As Vesper says, "Owr littr bocksz cood ewz a brake."
Tell Vesper that my big bruther Mao was kinda hoping that I wood go to Stosh's for a stinkoff becuz OWR catbox cood yooze a brake!!!
That's not the first time I've seen something like that...while exploring the basement I ran across a gold-fanged cat pic in one of my human's old life magazines from the 1960s. They called him gold fanger, a parody of the james bond movie Goldfinger...oh, and his human was a dentist so that's how HE got them...
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