A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
I am pritty safe frum the vishus deer becuz Mao and Rocky bravely patrol evry nite, keeping vishus deer and other preditors away frum our howse. Rocky patrols the gutter, and my big bruther Mao patrols evrything else. If yoo'll notis, they are NOT EVEN WARING KEVLAR VESTS OR SEKYURITY GARD UNIFORMS!
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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7 Comments:
They really are brave! You're lucky they are outside to protect you. We all live indoors so no one protects us from the crazy squirrels. I don't think we have deer in Riverton, the whole town is 1 square mile with lots of houses.
They're furry brave. I bet they has con-sealed weapons. That means you don't see them, but they're ready to purrteck you.
Nobody protects me from anything. I am the protector! That is why I am always trying to open the wooden boxes where the foods are - because you NEVER KNOW what could be in there. Well, and because that's where the foods is. Obveeisly.
It doesn't look like they're packin' heat either. But we assume they're "fully loaded" with front & back claws to protect you, Skeez.
hey...we're furry confused. we're in Cally-4-knee-ya an yur in Cally-4-knee-ya but it's still Furrsday where we is in Lost Angie-las an yur bloggie says Fryday an so what's up wif that?
our Lady's human sister has a cat named Umbrella an they has vishus deer come on their property in norfern Cally-4-knee-ya all the time. Umbrella is furry brave jus like Rocky an Mao, 'parently.
wow! you're lucky to have such stand-up guys for your protection!! we all live inside, so there's not much to save us from but that goofy cocoa-dog--and she's almost the size of a vishus deer, come to think of it . . . MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!
They luk soooo intense. Im vary vary impressed with Rocky and Mao.
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