A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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8 Comments:
Owr lady said that was neer us but we didn't see any wite rat morris group peeple with vishus deer antlurs. If we did we wuld ask them what thay were doing. We will be on the lukout fur yoo!!
I dunno Skeezix, at the renaissance festival here they have what's called 'morris dancers' but they just hop around and flap these dishtowels around at each other. I nearly fell down laughing when I first heard about that...
Skeezix, I'd be more than a little leery of this...could be some kind of a setup or a trap. I've heard those vishus deer can be a clever bunch.
Don't get lulled into a false sense of security thinking it's an innocent bunch of dancers, okay. You just never know. Gotta stay frosty, you know.
Oh my! Did you really get to see all of them?!
those people is NUTS! our Lady's human sister an her husband live in Bodega Cally-4-knee-yah an they belong ta the Morris dancers which is good on account of their last name is Morris an so they fits rite in, but they wear trees an plants an bells all offur themselfs an jump around all crazy like. maybe they're all nuts
you hafta ask yourself how all those beans got those antlers! did the vishus deer just hand 'em ofur? i think NOT! i think the beans were brave and went out and TOOK them from the deer. so azacly how vishus were these deer, then?
nitro
Wut a wild an crazee pahraid! My ladee wuz eggs-sy-ted to see it an that is wuz frum SFGate. She sayz she luvs to reed Mark Morford. I dont noe woo that is but if my ladee thinks heez cool thin he must bee. Jus' hope he stayz away frum those vishus deer antlurs.
OMG, Eclair, MY Food Lady like to reed Mark Morford, too!
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