Bravely Boy, my anonymus buddy

I got a comment frum my new anonymus buddy, "Bravely Boy" who is frum Eagan, MN. (That's his pikchur on the left. As yoo can see, there's a lot of Bravely Boy to love. Turns out, he's part Simeze. Yoo can't reely see it in this pikchur, but he has gorjus bloo eyes and a brown tail and ears.) I asked the Food Lady whut "MN" was, and she sed it wuz a place called Mini-Soda. I guess it's ware they make tiney root beers. The Food Lady knows a lot abowt Mini-Soda becuz my grate-grandma was born thare, in Bloo Erth. Anyway, Bravely Boy supports the MVHS, wich stands for the Mini-Soda Valley Hyoomane Society. That's ware nice peeple try to find food ladys for all of the cats so they don't have to go to the sausage factory. Yoo can look at all of the nice cats who are wating for a home here.

I looked at all of the pikchurs and the one I have a pikchur of heer is "Iago," who is kwite byootiful. Look at the amazing long whiskers and the wite socks! Iago looks very exotic. Here is his biograffy:

Iago 1-2 year old dsh gray and white male, 13.8 lbs, $90. "I love to have my stomach and head scratched. I'm a big cuddle-bug. I like to sit and purr."

UPDATE (7/4/06): It looks like Iago has fownd a home and didn't have to go to the sausage factery. YAY!!!

Bravely Boy, my anonymus buddy

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/bravely-boy-my-anonymus-buddy.html

My frend Kismet's videy-o

I keep forgitting to remind evryone to go to my best frend Kismet's blog and scroll down to June 14th (Making biskits) and watch the videy-o. It will make yoo overdose on kyootniss. I want a babey cat frend!

My frend Kismet's videy-o

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-frend-kismets-videy-o.html

Cat Tiara

So, I was shopping for cat tiaras, and I found this pikchur of a cat hoo must be a kweeen, she's so regul looking, and she has a fabulus tiara. Now I have to find out ware I can by me one of those tiaras just like herz. Yoo can click on the pikchur to see it full size.

Cat Tiara

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/cat-tiara.html

Famous Kitty Kwiz

Which fame-us kitty are yoo? Take this kwiz and find out.

Famous Kitty Kwiz

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/famous-kitty-kwiz.html

Meow Mix Howse CONTEST!

OK, I'm bord. I want to hold a contest, and I'll give away a valyooabul prize to the winner. Wich cat will win the Meow Mix Howse Contest and git to be VP of reserch and developmint?

Here's what yoo have to do:

1. Pick one of the Meow Mix House Cats here.
2. In the comments field of this blog, vote for yer cat. Tell me hoo yer picking.
3. If yer cat has alreddy been pikked by somewun else before yoo, yer outta luck. Pick anuther cat. Once all of the remaining nine cats have been picked, the contest is clozed to new entries.
4. At the end of the contest, I'll send the winner a valyooabul prize. I don't know what the prize is yet, becuz I just thot the contest up. But it will be valyooabul.
5. Shabby gits first dibs on Jo. Shabby, if yoo want to pik a diffrent cat insted of Jo, yool need to put that name in the comments feeld.

The fine print: Only cats are elijibul to win. No Peeple, no dogs, and no members of the rodentia family, Carl Spackler. More than one cat per howsehold can enter. But yoo must be a reel cat. I'll chek. If yoo pick the winning cat and are a winner yerself, I reserv the rite to put yer pikchur in my blog. If yoo don't want to be a celebrity, then don't enter. I can change the rools anytime I want to.

Meow Mix Howse CONTEST!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/meow-mix-howse-contest.html

Bestest cat dance ever

I think I'm in love. Cat. I'm a Kitty Cat. And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance. Catchey, huh?

Bestest cat dance ever

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/bestest-cat-dance-ever.html

A pikchur of my new frend, Eclair

Here is a pikchur of my new best frend* Eclair, hoo conferms that she is a gerl. I've never seen a gerl cat in person, just on the innernet. She looks kinda small, like me. We'd make a good pare: yin and yang.

________________________________
* My big bruther Mao gits mad at me win I talk abowt all my best frends. He sez yoo can only have ONE best frend. I don't think that's troo. I have lots of frends, and they're all just THE BEST!

A pikchur of my new frend, Eclair

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/pikchur-of-my-new-frend-eclair.html

The Best Email of My Life

I got the best email of my life today. It was a messij frum Eclair who is a cat hoo was reskyood frum maybe having to go to the sausage factory by her (his?) new food lady. Eclair is part Simeze. She livd at one of thoze places ware thare were lots of cats and dogs waiting for food ladeys to come git them and take them home with them, and it wuz hard becuz she didn't always git enuf to eet becuz she wuz a-scared of some of the bigger cats. She sed the food ladeys who took care of her thare were very nice, but they were only temporary. Finely, her forever food lady came and took her to a new home and now she has as much food as she wants, and lots of toys, and she gits to sleep in the peeple bed.

But the part that made it the best email of my life was that Eclair told me that it was becuz of my blog that her Food Lady fownd her! Her food ladey sent me a fan email a little wile ago becuz she liked my blog, and I emailed her back and told her that she shood git a cat and that Simeze were grate, and then the Food Lady wint out and got Eclair and brot her home to live.

I just know they will both be very very very happy together! Con-cat-u-lashuns, Eclair! Send us a foto! C'mon, gang, give Eclair a high-five!

The Best Email of My Life

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/best-email-of-my-life.html

Snakes on a Plane

I've decided to jump on the Snakes on a Plane bandwagon and start my own moovey project, Skeezix on a Plane. If yoo have no idea what I'm talking abowt, you can find out more abowt Snakes on a Plane here.*

Me and my big bruther Mao just LUV Samuel L Jackson, and he's the one hoo stars in Snakes on a Plane. And Mao reeely reeely luvs snakes. He used to live ware there were a lot of snakes, and he'd bring two or three a day into the howse. We also reely like the title. According to Wikidpedia:

At one point, the film's working title was altered to Pacific Air Flight 121. In August 2005, a perturbed Samuel L. Jackson told an interviewer, "We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title."

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* Warning: there's a bad werd on this page.

Snakes on a Plane

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/snakes-on-plane.html

A Nite at the Oppra

Poor Mr Tasty Face. After our nitely piano concert in the peeple bedroom, he tride to put us back in our own bedroom before he wint to bed, wich is what he always does. But win he tride to put me and my big bruther Mao in our bedroom, he kept fergitting to close the peeple bedroom door, so he'd git one of us in the cat bedroom wile the other snuk back into the peeple bedroom, and then he'd git the other one set and tucked in wile the first one snuk back into the peeple bedroom, and this happened over and over and over agin. We thot it was hilarius, but Mr Tasty Face fayled to see the humer in it. The Food Lady just laffed and laffed and sed he looked like the Marx Bruthers. Wich didn't make sense to me bekuz Mr Tasty Face's bruthers are named Dave and Kris and Tim ... he doesn't have a brother named Marx. So I did a Google serch and fownd pikchurs of the Marx bruthers, and the one with the mustash looks like my frend Mighty Mite's Unkul Gavin.

Anyway, Mr Tasty Face finely gave up and me and my big bruther Mao got to sleep with the peeple. VICTORY! The Food Lady didn't even make me leeve after I wokked across her face with poopy paws. I was happy happy happy and had reely good dreems.

A Nite at the Oppra

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/nite-at-oppra.html

Sepurated at Berth?

Siamese Twins Separated at Birth?

Wow! What a hansum set of ears!!!

Sepurated at Berth?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/sepurated-at-berth.html

Good Lewis the Cat artikul

I found a reely good long artikul abowt Lewis the Cat, with all the deetails abowt his trial. Yoo can reed it here. This is a pikchur of Lewis the Cat with his food lady, Ruth Cineros. She's abowt the best food lady in the werld!

Good Lewis the Cat artikul

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/good-lewis-cat-artikul.html

Mighty Mite

Well, an amazing thing happend this weekend. I fownd out hoo the cats were in the Wikipedia storey on Oriental Shorthares that I rote abowt last week, and now they're my frends! One of the wite ones is Mighty Mite (she's the one whooze my frend), and the other three are her mom, her bruther and her uncle! You can see thare web site here. But even better, if yoo go to see Mighty Mite's Catster profile, you'll see more pikchurs of her, inclooding one ware she's waring a tiara! Now that's my kind of cat! I think we practikley look like twins, but the Food Lady sed that we don't becuz my coluring is all splotchy and not nice and wite like hers. But still, we're pritty close! Food Lady, can yoo git me a tiara???

Mighty Mite

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/mighty-mite.html

Time for a Tasty Face Brake!

Here's a new pikchur of me and Mr Tasty Face. As yoo can see, I've got both paws arownd his nek so that I can hold his tasty face in place wile I lik it. Have I menshuned how tasty his tasty face is? I cood lik it all day!

Time for a Tasty Face Brake!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/time-for-tasty-face-brake.html

How Mao Stays in Shape

Cat on Treadmill

This is how my big bruther Mao stays so buff. If Mao wuz in the movie bizniss, this cat cood be his stunt dubbul becuz they look so much alike. Except Mao is much lowder.

How Mao Stays in Shape

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/how-mao-stays-in-shape.html

Watch Belle Get the Boot

Episode 2 is finely up online. It turns out it's only on for 3 minits on Animul Planit eech week, wich meens that maybe we mist it win the Food Lady switched channuls to make shoore we didn't have to watch meercats git eeten. So I gess it's just eezier to watch episodes online. Except it took them FOREVER to git Episode 2 up, so yoo have to be extreemly payshunt. In Episode 2, yoo git to see Belle git voted off.

NEXT WEEK: The incredible Purr-off. (Boy, I'd have no trubble winning that one!)

Watch Belle Get the Boot

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/watch-belle-get-boot.html

Rocky the Gutter Cat's Summer Home

My outside frend Rocky has mooved into his summer home: the driveway. He mooved thare becuz in the summer lots of peeple are watering thare lons and stuff, and water runs down the gutter a lot. This meens that Rocky wakes up soking wet wich as yoo know, most cats don't like. In fact, they detest it. So Rocky moved to the driveway ware no water runs down, except on the edges win the sprinklerz come on in the morning. He still visits the gutter to eat gutter grass. The gutter grass likes the extra water.

Rocky the Gutter Cat's Summer Home

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/rocky-gutter-cats-summer-home.html

Simon and Felix Ralfed

My best innernet frends, Simon and Felix (rimes with Skeezix!) both blew chunx this morning and woke thare cozy laps up becuz it was wile evryone wuz still in bed. Boy, I know what that's like. Simon is taking flajul for a poop problem, wich is sumthing I've done before: just like all best frends, me and Simon have a lot in commun. I'm sorry yoo guys are feeling bad. Maybe I can send Nurse Mao over to take care of yoo!

Simon and Felix Ralfed

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/simon-and-felix-ralfed.html

What's with Meow Mix House?

The webcams are shut down, and there's nuthing abowt hoo got voted off last nite. And thare blogs have not been updated. Like, how hard is it to rite a blog evry day?

What's with Meow Mix House?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/whats-with-meow-mix-house.html

The Skeezix Family

My best frend Shabby did sum innernet reesurch and fownd my long lost family. So, I think it's very cleer that I wuz adopted. Theze are "Oriental Shorthares." Obveeusly, the two blak and wite ones in the bak are older males (or reely reely reely old females) becuz they have mustashes. I wish I had a mustash. Here is what the wikipedia sez abowt Oriental Shorthairs:

Oriental Shorthairs are intelligent, social animals who bond closely to their people. They are inquisitive, highly friendly, emotional, and sometimes quite vocal. People have commented that the Oriental Shorthair looks like a Greyhound or a Chihuahua. Many comment that they are much more 'dog-like' in personality.

Well, of course, more than one person has sed that I look like a chiwawa. Thank yoo, Shabby, for helping with my jeeneolojy.

The Skeezix Family

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/skeezix-family.html

Did Anyone See Meow Mix Howse?

I tride to watch Meow Mix Howse, but it never came on win I was watching Animul Planit. Insted, thare was a meercat show on wich I reely liked. Meercats are strange earless cats that live in the Kalahorry Dezert. I don't know if that's neer Castro Valley or far away. I think it mite be close to ware we live becuz it was burning hot, just like it was heer this week, altho onestly, I've never seen a meercat. Maybe the vishus deer ate them all. I didn't understand why meercat babies are called pups, becuz everyone knoze that baby cats are called kittens. Maybe they explaned it wile the Food Lady was switching channuls, wich she did every 2.7 minutes when the myoosic got serious and scary becuz she thot a meercat was gonna git eeten by sumthing and she hates watching naychur programs for exactly that reezun. It drives Mr Tasty Face nuts. When it gits reely bad, she'll just give Mr Tasty Face the little black plastik thing and run out of the room. I wish I had a meercat frend. One of the meercat babies was named "Rocky" but he didn't look like my frend Rocky the gutter cat.

Did Anyone See Meow Mix Howse?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/did-anyone-see-meow-mix-howse.html

The Lake is Bloo Agin

On my patrols today, I notist that the big rectangle lake is bak to being bloo. The pump man came and a few days later, the lake was bloo agin. Heer yoo can see Mr Tasty Face doing his job ware he puts the stiks in the lake and drags them arownd. My outside frend Tripper/Tigger/Tiger likes to help him with this job. I'm kinda a-scared of the lake becuz it is full of wet water, wich I hate, even win it's just on my feet.

The Lake is Bloo Agin

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/lake-is-bloo-agin.html

Cat Squeezing Into a Bottle

Have yoo seen this video? I'm pretty shoore I cood do this (but don't yoo try it Kismet - yer a big man cat and yoo mite git stuck!). Gotta go --- gotta find a bottle to sqweeze into!

Cat Squeezing Into a Bottle

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/cat-squeezing-into-bottle.html

Meow Mix House is Up!!!!

My best frend Shabby let me know that the Meow Mix House is now live, and yoo can vote for yer faverit cats. The show is on tonite (6/23) at 9pm. Here's the lineup:

Jo
St Lewis the Cat MO

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Ellis
Portland OR
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Molly
Hyoostun TX
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Bambi
New York NY
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Sam
Dallus TX
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Opry
Nashvill TN
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Romeo
LA CA
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Cisco
Miamie FL
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Zen
Chicago IL
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Belle
Filadelfia PA
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So what yoo need to do is go here and vote for yer faverit. I still haven't decided. I like Opry becuz he kinda looks like a runt, so I can identify with him. But I also like Sam, whooze kind of a cowboy, and Cisco who looks like he's eether got Meow Mix or poop smeered all over the mouth part of his face area. Just win I think I know hoo to vote for, I get loored away by Bambi, who stirs up the urges in me that I thot the vet man took away win I got noootered. So hoo are yoo gonna vote for? Don't fergit to reed thare blogs. And they also have a webcam wich is abowt a millyun times better than the webcams of thoze collij gerls hoo email me on myspace.com. (And Rosie/Cheeto-Dorrito, the webcams are even better than yer cat tvs.)

Meow Mix House is Up!!!!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/meow-mix-house-is-up.html

Send me to Iceland!

Simon's cozy laps just got bak frum Iceland, and I wish that's ware I was rite this minit. It is over one billyun degrees heer today in Castro Valley by the big forest. Even that scary big rectangle lake in the back yard is starting to look pritty good, if it will keep me frum melting.

Send me to Iceland!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/send-me-to-iceland.html

Poop Noze

Here I am in my Whirly*Pop Klubhowse, and if yoo look at my noze, you'll see sumthing on it, and it isn't choclit.

Poop Noze

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/poop-noze.html

It's too darned hot!

Here is a pikchur that Mr Tasty Face took of my outside frend Tripper (formerly Tigger, formerly Tiger). This is his sekund faverit nap spot, so the Food Lady put a nice sheepskin thing down so he'll be comfurtabul. Today it was almost a billion degrees farenhite in Castro Valley by the big forest, and even hotter inside. So Tripper told me that cats sleep on thare baks win it gits hot becuz it's kooler that way. He's demonstrating how to do it in this pikchur. I'm too skinny to sleep on my bak becuz my bak is so pointy I just fall over on one side or the other. It may take me yeers to master the tekneek. I was so hot I ran arownd the howse in the noood! Woo woo woo! The Food Lady was discussing gitting my big bruther Mao a lion cut. I don't know what that is, but I hope they don't hert him becuz he's the best big bruther I have.

It's too darned hot!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/its-too-darned-hot.html

Howse Arrest is Not So Bad...

My silly best frend Shabby sed house arrest isn't so bad, and to proove it, he sent this foto of Kailin the Cat hoo livs with him and hoo, like me and Lewis the Cat, is imprizoned* inside under howse arrest:

Come to think of it, all my innernet frends are under howse arrest. Maybe that's why we spend so much time online.
___________________________
*just like gwantanamoe

Howse Arrest is Not So Bad...

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/howse-arrest-is-not-so-bad.html

Lewis the Cat is NOT a Terrorist

I was very upset today to see that the pro-dog/anti-cat media referred to Lewis the Cat in one hedline as a "Tomcat Terrorist." I am just so mad that Lewis is being vilified* in the press, wile dogs git off scotfree. Espeshully since that stupid donut dog hoo burned his howse down is not being vilified. With him, the pro-dog/anti-cat press is just, like, hee hee hee what a funny donut-eeting dog, aren't dogs grate, blah blah blah. But Lewis wuz just defending his property frum the Avon ladey, wich --- hello? --- is his JOB. And for that he gits called a terrorist. Sheesh.
____________________________________
*I looked in the dikshunary for this word. It meens defamed.

Lewis the Cat is NOT a Terrorist

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/lewis-cat-is-not-terrorist.html

Why Dogs are Dumm

I herd today that a dog trying to skarf down sum donuts started a fire that burned his howse down. The dog was not injurd. See, cats wood never cauze a fire over sumthing stoopid like donuts. Fancy Feast Sliced Turkey in Gravy, maybe, but never donuts. (My big bruther Mao sez that Krispey Kreemz are pritty good, but I never touch them or else I'll looz my girlish figyur.)

You can reed abowt that dumm dog heer.

Why Dogs are Dumm

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/why-dogs-are-dumm.html

Dirty Jobs!

Tonite wuz an exciting nite. It wuz the seezun premeere of "Dirty Jobs" on the Discovery Channul. The Food Lady and Mr Tasty Face were feeling better, so they got up to watch it becuz they luv that show, and they want Mike Rowe to be thare best frend becuz he'd be fun at parties. In Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe goes all over the cuntrey doing peeples dirty jobs like werking in the soower, or kleening toxik waste, or scooping poop. He scoops a lot of poop, altho he calls it poo becuz he's on TeeVee and he's not allowed to say poop. Poop is not one of the bad werds I'm not allowed to say, so I can say it all I want: poop, poop, POOP!

So Mr Tasty Face wants Mike Rowe to come to owr howse in Castro Valley by the big forest and scoop MY poop. Boy, now that's a dirty job. I do have an update in the poop departmunt: I seem to be gitting a littul better. I had barfy medisin forst down my throte, and it seemed to help, at leest for now. When Mr Tasty Face and the Food Lady anulized the cat box last nite, Mr Tasty Face was very happy and excited: "Nothing but turdz!" he sed, triumfantly. Turdz are the oppusit of squirts.

My best frend Shabby had sum barfy medisin forst on him a while ago. He sed it wuz pink. I wuz jellus, becuz pink is my faverit color, and I wood a millyun times rather have pink barfy medisin than white barfy medisin.

I'm wound up, can u tell? I've been running arownd like a maniac tonite, just like I have ants in my pants*.

_______________________________
*Yes, this is just anuther figyur of speech, becuz of korse, cats don't ware pants.

Dirty Jobs!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/dirty-jobs.html

LEWIS' LIFE HAS BEEN SPARED!!!

NEWS FLASH!!!! Lewis the Cat has had a repreeve. He's under house arrest for the rest of his life with no excepshuns, but at leest he's not gitting sent to the sausage factory*. READ ALL ABOUT IT here.
_____________________________
*The sausage factory is ware bad cats git sent. Then they're grownd up to make meetballs. My big bruther Mao told me all abowt the sausage factory, and sed that little runt cats hoo bug thare big bruthers git sent to the sausage factory, too. That makes me nervus.

LEWIS' LIFE HAS BEEN SPARED!!!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/lewis-life-has-been-spared.html

My Whirly*Pop Howse

My faverit ant (Ant Joanne) and my faverit unkul (Unkul Ken) sent me the very best krismus prezent ever last yeer. It's a Whirly*Pop box, and it's my very own persunal clubhowse that my big bruther Mao IS NOT ALLOWED INTO. Winever the Food Lady or Mr Tasty Face hed into the room with the cat heeters, I spring ahed of them and skrambul into my howse becuz they'll usually play with me. They cut little windows and a skylite in my clubhowse so it's just like a reel house, and then they can stik my faverit toy --- the tinsel wand --- in thru the holes, and I play and play and play and play and play and play. Sumtimes they turn it on its end, and I fall to the bottom and I play that way for a wile. That's what this pikchur is of.

My Whirly*Pop Howse

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-whirlypop-howse.html

Lewis the Cat Update

Today, I fownd out on ABC News that Lewis the Cat has been offered sumthing called "safe haven" at Best Frends Animul Sankchewary in Kanab, Utah. I asked Mr Tasty Face what that ment, and he sed that Best Frends will let Lewis come live with them if the judge sez so, wich is good and bad.... good becuz he woodn't be kild, but bad becuz he coodn't live with his food lady anymore. Mr Tasty Face sed that he and my Food Lady visited Best Frends Animul Sankchewary win they wint on a rode trip, and it is a wonderful place for animuls hoo can't live with peeple anymore, and so the Food Lady givs them munney.

You can reed more about Lewis the Cat here. Remember, his food lady is due bak in kort tomorrow to find out Lewis's fate.

Lewis the Cat Update

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/lewis-cat-update.html

Ware My Frend Tigger Sleeps

My outside frend Tigger is now staying at our howse abowt all the time. He used to just come by for dinner, but now that he's gotten used to us, he's more comfterbul and the Food Lady moved a chare by the back door so that he can sleep there in a protected area. This is a pikchur of him in his chair. Yoo can see the big smile on his face becuz he likes livving with us. Mr Tasty Face is changing Tigger's name to "Tripper" becuz he trips the peeple win they go outside, becuz he wants them to stop and pet him, so he gits under thare feet. I know better and I stay away frum thare feet, otherwize I'd get smooshed like a bug and my guts wood spill out all over the dek.

Ware My Frend Tigger Sleeps

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/ware-my-frend-tigger-sleeps.html

New Cat Reality Show

TV folks have finely gotten the messij that cat reality shows wood be a million times more interesting than peeple reality shows. So one of my faverit chanels, Animul Planet, is filming a reality show ware ten cats compeet to find thare perfect owner. (I'm lucky, I've alreddy got mine.) It's being filmed in a place called Noo York, wich I don't think is in Castro Valley ware I live becuz I've never herd of it before. Clik here to go to Meow Mix House.

New Cat Reality Show

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/new-cat-reality-show.html

They're both sik, now

Now Mr Tasty Face is sik, too, wich meens that I kinda git ignored. They lay on the bed and make these reely scary bad sownds that wood make me crap my pants if I wore pants, becuz it's reely qwiet and then out of the bloo this big exploshun sownd comes out of thare mouths and I jump strate up in the air. Mao gave up on being a nurse, and sed that I cood take over and then he wint outside. So now I have to hold down the fort alone. Wich is fine most of the time, but what if sumthing happens? I don't know CPR. I don't know how to call 911. Thare are so many Kleenexes^® on the floor, they can't have many branes left in thare heds! Whooz going to open my cans of Fancy Feast Sliced Turkey in Gravy?

They're both sik, now

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/theyre-both-sik-now.html

Have yoo sent a Father's Day* Card?

If not, yoo can always send a free Skeezix the Cat Father's Day* e-card rite this minit. Just click the card on the left, add a greeting, myoosic and an email address and bam! yer done!

________________________
*I myself will never be a father ever since the vet man made my goodie sack sore and took away my urges. But wood yoo want my ugly geens in the geen pool, anyway??

Have yoo sent a Father's Day* Card?

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/have-yoo-sent-fathers-day-card.html

Someone made the lake green!

Evry day, as part of my patrols, I jump up on the upstairs railing and look down into the downstares and out to the backyard ware the big rectangle lake is. Yoo can see part of the forest frum thare, too. Boy, wuz I surprised this morning to see that the lake turned green! It's as green as Catster! It's usually bloo like the oshun, but now it's like somewun dyed it green for St Patrick's Day. And I'm pretty shure it's not St Patrick's Day becuz the Food Lady didn't dress me up in my green hat and snakes, wich is usually a good indikashun that St Patrick's Day is close. Mr Tasty Face sed it's green becuz the pump is broken, so it will be green until we get the new pump installed, and then it will be bloo like the oshun agin. Mr Tasty Face is the one hoo takes care of the lake. When he's out there putting long sticks in the lake and swirling them arownd, the Food Lady calls out to him, saying, "Hey,Pool Boy!" and she kind of makes her eyebrows moov up and down win she sez it, and goes "woo woo!" That's sum kind of peeple communikashun I havn't figyured out yet.

Someone made the lake green!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/someone-made-lake-green.html

My best frend Simon is Back!

My best frend Simon has been off the compyooter for a long time, since his cozy laps got on the silver birdie and wint to Iceland*. I was werried that I mite never heer frum him agin, but I did today: they're back! He also told me that his Cozy Lap knows my best frend Kismet becuz he helped Kismet find his home with the nice ladey where he lives now.
__________________________________
* I do not think Iceland is neer Castro Valley by the big forest ware I live becuz it is a millyun degrees heer, and it wood have melted all the ice and it woodn't be called Iceland anymore.

My best frend Simon is Back!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-best-frend-simon-is-back.html

Nurse Mao

The Food Lady is still sik. My big bruther Mao explaned to me how anuther one of our jobs is, win the peeple are sik, we have to stik rite next to them and be there if they need anything. This is called being a nurse. Mao even has a nurse outfit that he gits to ware that prooves to peeple that he is an offishul nurse. I put a pikchur of Mao in his nurse's outfit heer. Since I don't have a nurse outfit, I'm just the unoffishul nurse. So, we lade down on the bed next to Food Lady all day. It was pretty boring, to tell the trooth. Today, her branes are coming out of her mouth in addition to coming out her nose, and when they do, she puts them in a Kleenex^®. Mr Tasty Face duzn't call it branes, he calls it "lung butter." Yoo can tell when the branes are abowt to come out her mouth: the Food Lady makes a big sownd that sownds like an exploshun. It can be scary. I worry that she mite not have any branes left after she gits thru being sik. The good thing abowt being an unoffishul nurse all day today was that since it was a millyun degrees outside, we got to stay in a relativly kool room that has the wind blower in it. Otherwise, I wood have melted already.

Nurse Mao

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/nurse-mao.html

This is one FAT cat!

I red an old articul today about a reely fat cat who ways more than six times as much as I do: 50 pownds. She has a 27-1/2 inch waist. And, she can eat 1.3 frankfurters a minit. I don't know what a frankfurter is, but it sownds big.

This is one FAT cat!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/this-is-one-fat-cat.html

Food Lady is Sik

Poor Food Lady. She is sik, and she is in bed, and I'm a little scared because she makes theze lowd noises with a whoosh of air exploding frum her noze over and over agin, and her branes are leeking out her noze, so she has to mop them up with a Kleenex^®, a pile of wich are on the floor by the bed. I stay by her just in kase she needs me to help put her branes bak in her hed or sumthing, and I purr and she seems to like that. It is very very hot here in Castro Valley by the big forest. Like a million degrees. I'm bord. And hot. Like I'm abowt to melt.

Food Lady is Sik

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/food-lady-is-sik.html

Rosie and Cheeto

So, I don't know how many of yoo reed the comments on my blogs, but if yoo do, yur alreddy acqwainted with my best frends, Rosie & Cheeto. Since the comments pikchur is so small, I thot yood like to see a bigger version. Rosie is sumthing called a "tortiseshell,"(but she looks black and oranj to me), and Cheeto is the grey one. They stik up for me win my big bruther Mao gits cranky. They liv in a place called San Francisco, wich sounds very exotik. It must be very very very far frum Castro Valley ware I live wich is definitly not exotik.

Rosie and Cheeto

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/rosie-and-cheeto.html

My Kind of Cats

I want that pink motorcycle and a black lether jakkit so I can be a big bad boy.

My Kind of Cats

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-kind-of-cats.html

Erthkwake Update

OK. So I looked up erthkwake in the wikipedia. (It took most of the day becuz I wasn’t spelling it rite.) And here’s what it sed:

An earthquake is a phenomenon that results from and is powered by the sudden release of stored energy that radiates seismic waves. At the Earth's surface, earthquakes may manifest themselves by a shaking or displacement of the ground and sometimes tsunamis, which may lead to loss of life and destruction of property.

Well, with all the waves and talk of tsunamis, I bet the Food Lady was werried that the earthquake wood make too many waves in the big rectangle lake in the bak yard, and maybe cauze a tsunami that wood flood the hole howse. So in the futchure, as part of my patrols, I’ll spend more time keeping an eye on the big rectangle lake in the bak yard, to make sure it doesn’t get an earthquake that cauzes a tsunami that floods the howse. I hope if we have anuther earthquake and it makes a tsunami, that at leest it will drown the vishus deer so that I’m not so nervus all the time.

So, I then looked up pets predicting earthquakes, and heer is what I fownd:

Animal sixth sense: The idea that animals can sense tremors in advance is as old as the ancient Greeks of 373 B.C. and as new as the Asian tsunami of 2004. Orey, for example, suspects a tremor could be on the way when her dog Simon or her cat Kerouac gets unusually jumpy or clingy. Other pets may get the urge to run away. Berkland, too, believes that animals may provide short-term warning of earthquakes and has tabulated the number of lost-pet ads in newspaper classifieds in an attempt to narrow down the area where California earthquakes might hit. The critter connection also has been the subject of research by the Chinese, and even the USGS looked into it for a while in the 1970s. For instance, the 1975 evacuation of Haicheng in China, just hours before a major earthquake, is often cited as a success story for animal prediction. However, China's animal-alarm system has also missed the mark badly — with the 1976 Tangshan earthquake, which killed more than 242,000 people, cited as the most devastating failure.

>> Click here for the articul.

So how was I supposed to know that part of my job is predicting earthquakes for the Food Lady? It’s not like she gave me a job descripshun win she brot me home to live with her. I did get the urge to run away yesterday. When Mr Tasty Face got home frum werk, I escaped out the front door and he had to try to capchur me. Does that count?

--- A Speshul Report by Skeezix the Cat

Erthkwake Update

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/erthkwake-update.html

My bad morning

It was a bad morning. Maybe the fourth worst day of my life. Before the Food Lady and Mr Tasty Face woke up, the big howse started shaking and woke me and my big bruther Mao up. I asked Mao wut wuz happening and he sed that it was probly the vishus deer trying to brake down the front door so that they cood eet me for brekfist. So I burrowed into my heeted cat cup --- the one with the cover over it so they coodn't see me --- and I hided there until Mr Tasty Face woke up, wich is win I bolted into the peeple's bedroom and crawled under the covers next to the Food Lady and woodn't come out no way no how.

And then when the men in the talking black box next to the Food Lady's bed started talking to wake her up (like they do evry morning), they sed there had been a 4.7 erthkwake, and the Food Lady was a little mad that she slept thru it becuz she has stuff she likes to do win an erthkwake happens. First, she runs to Mr Tasty Face all excited and sez, "Did yoo feel it, did yoo feel it?" and then she goes to sumthing called usgs and finds out ware the eppycentur wuz, and gits sumthing called coordinates, and then she goes to googulerth and plots her distance frum the eppycentur and then she goes back to usgs and tipes in what she wuz doing when it hit and whether stuff fell off the shelf, and how far away she wuz. And win she's done with that, she checks to see how many other peeple felt it. But she slept thru it this morning, and she was mad becuz it was probly "a good one," whatever she meens by that, and then she turned to me and sed, "Skeezix the Cat, why didn't yoo act oddly like cats are suposed to do and warn me so that I wood know an erthkwake wuz coming, and not sleep thru it?" And I didn't want to tell her that win the erthqwake came I wuz too bizzy hiding in my heeted cat cup hiding frum the vishus deer who were practicly shaking the whole howse down to get to me and eet me for brekfist. I didn't want her to know how a-scared I wuz. And I definitly didn't want her to think I wuz stoopid becuz I didn't know wut an erthkwake is.

Heer is a list of the awful things that happened this morning:

1. The vishus deer tride to brake down the front door and made the whole big howse shake so that they cood eet me for brekfist.
   
2. An erthqwake happened and the Food Lady asked me why I didn't act oddly so that she wood be warned and didn't miss it.
   
3. Had barfy medisin (to kyoor my squirts) forst down my throte.
   
4. Got flee joose put on me.

I know better than to ask "Wut else can happen," becuz that's win sumthing reeeely awful happens.

My bad morning

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-bad-morning.html

Cats in Sinks

I won't go neer the sink becuz that's ware they try to drown me win they try to wash the squishy poop out of my paws. But misteriously, I've discovered frum the innernet that a lot of cats LOVE to sleep in sinks. Go figyur. Anyway, at catsinsinks.com, yoo can see thowsands of pikchurs of --- yoo gessed it --- cats in sinks. And they all apeer to be enjoying themselves!

Cats in Sinks

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/cats-in-sinks.html

Stray Cats Myoosikul Interlood

This is one of my faverit singing groops, and one of my faverit songs. It's also, I think, one of the first videos that my outside frend Rocky starred in.

Stray Cats Myoosikul Interlood

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/stray-cats-myoosikul-interlood.html

Thank You, Shabby!

My best innernet frend, Shabby, sent me anuther gift, and it wuz just so nice I got a little teary-eyed. Shabby was a stray cat that fownd a home with some very very nice peeple. Shabby looks just like Lewis the Cat* (who is due back in court next Tuesday). Shabby duz not ware clothes like me and Kismet the big man cat do, but he duzn't reely need to, since he has fur that is maybe a thousand times longer than my fur. I can't even imajin being that hairy! (He reminds me of "Fluffy," the cat across the street frum me hoo I haven't seen in a wile, and hoo probly got eeten by the vishus cat-eeting deer, according to Mao.) This is a pikchur of Shabby with his frend Louie. Louie looks just like my outside frend, Rocky, except Rocky has green eyes, gutter stains on his coat, and is a little less active than Louie.
______________________________
Even tho Lewis the Cat and I have the same last name, we're not related.

Thank You, Shabby!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/thank-you-shabby.html

Thank You, Kismet!

My good innernet frend, Kismet the big man cat, sended me a shert in the mail. It was too tiny for him, since he's a big man cat, but just the rite size for a runt like me. And after eegerly anticipating its arrival, it finely came! The envelope had my name drawn on it reely nicely, and I cood hardly wate for the Food Lady to open it. And gess what? It has BLING! It is very elegant looking with diamonds on it and stuff, and it sez "Prince", wich will reely make my big bruther Mao skowl. And not only that, but it is byootiful and has Skeezix colors! Blue and choclit brown. Here are the pikchurs. SEE MAO? I do have innernet frends hoo like me!!! Anyway, here I am, modeling my bling-wear. And in the bottom foto, I'm showing my outside frend Tigger my new clothes!

Heer is the link to Kismet's blog: The Blog of a Big Man Cat

Thank You, Kismet!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/thank-you-kismet.html

Jack the Cat Update

I fownd a pikchur of that very very brave Jack the Cat*, who twice chased a tresspassing blak bear up a tree. YOU GO JACK! (You can click the pikchur to see a bigger vershun.) Kitties, do not try this at home. Jack is a professhunul bear chaser. (And no matter what, DO NOT attempt to chase a vishus deer up a tree.)
__________________________________
* Despite having the same last name, Jack the Cat and I are not related.

Jack the Cat Update

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/jack-cat-update.html

Mao Hijakked my XML Feed

My big bruther Mao wuz meen to me. He changed my XML feed so that it points to his stoopid blog, and not mine. I told on him to Mr Tasty Face. Then Mao called me a sissy mama's boy crybaby tattletale. Mr Tasty Face grownded Mao and took away his compyooter privlijes, wich made Mao even more cranky than usual.

Mao Hijakked my XML Feed

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/mao-hijakked-my-xml-feed.html

Fetching

Here I am running down the hall, fetching my tinsel wand. This is my very very very faverit toy in the entire world. No matter ware Mr Tasty Face throws it, I fetch it and bring it bak to him. It's a good trik, isn't it? It's abowt the only trik I know. My big bruther Mao is reeely smart and he knows about ten trix. But he never goze neer the tinsel wand becuz it has my spit on it.

Fetching

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/fetching.html

Smelly Cat Myoosik Video

Long before I wuz ever born, someone named Feebie (just like the berdies outside) rote a song abowt me called "Smelly Cat." I thot yoo mite like to see it. I thot of it becuz I had anuther bad poopy paws insident this weekend. sigh.

Smelly Cat Myoosik Video

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/smelly-cat-myoosik-video.html

Simon & Felix shood be back online soon!

My good innernet frends Simon Cozy Lap and his frend Felix have been what's called "offline" frum since arownd the beginning of Joon becuz thare food lady, Mr Cozy Lap, flew away in the silver berdie and didn't take them with him. (Silver berdies fly over my howse all the time: I wonder if Mr Cozy Lap wuz in one of them?) So now more than ten brekfists and ten dinners have passt, so I hope it's not long before Mr Cozy Lap is home and lets Simon and Felix on his computer so they can email me. Felix doesn't tipe too good, and Simon is the only one I email, but I always inclood Felix win I talk abowt Simon and Felix becuz it's polite. Like the way Simon incloods Mao even tho Mao thinks my innernet frends are stoopid. Anyway, this is a pikchur of my frend Simon. As yoo can planely see, Mao, Simon is NOT AN IMAGINERY FREND. He is a reel cat who looks like Rocky, only more enerjetic.

Simon & Felix shood be back online soon!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/simon-felix-shood-be-back-online-soon.html

The Thing abowt the Vishus Deer

Sometimes, my innernet frends ask me, "Skeezix the Cat, what's the deel with the vishus deer? What do yoo know that we don't?"

Well, let me tell yoo, my outside frend Rocky, hoo lives in the gutter, has told me all about the vishus deer that terrorize the nayburhood. Rocky told me that win it gits dark outside (which is past my bedtime, but Rocky doesn't have a curfyoo), the vishus deer come out of the big forest ware they live and wander thru the nayburhood looking for cats to eet. The deer are ginormous. They are bigger than peeple and they have many many horns on thare heds, wich they use to skewer the cats they chase down to eet. (I put a foto of a deer here: have yoo ever seen anything so terrifying?)

Sumtimes, at nite, I peek out the balconey to see if I can get a glimpse of these terrifying monsters, and I see them rooting arownd the roze bushes and the ag-uh-pan-thus looking for cats to eet. Win I see that, I neerly wet my pants* and run bak in the room, becuz they mite jump up on the balconey to eet me even tho the balconey is on the second floor, wich meens it's high.

Rockey sez he and Mao are pretty safe becuz they are old cats, and the vishus deer reely prefer to eet yung tender juicy cats like me. But Rocky sez if they git hungry enuf, he and Mao cood be eeten, too, so he has to be vijilant. That's why sumtimes I see Rocky running for his life win he spots one of the vishus deer, which meens he leeves his post in the gutter and is not protecting the yard wile the deers are here. I think the Food Lady and Mr Tasty Face wood understand, tho, becuz they woodn't want Rocky to git eeten.
________________________________
* This is just a figyur of speech. Everyone noze that cats don't ware pants.

The Thing abowt the Vishus Deer

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/thing-abowt-vishus-deer.html

A Poem by Skeezix the Cat

My first name is “Skeezix.”
My last name’s “the Cat.”
My big bruther Mao
Simply calls me “wite rat.”

Mao doesn’t much like me,
But I think that’s fine
I’ve got innernet frends
That email me all the time.

I ware pink polo sherts
Or a monogrammed swetter.
I have grate fashun sense
That each day just gets better.

I’m a little bit stinky
Because of the squirts.
My poop doesn’t harden…
But it’s not like it hurts.

Oh, how I love likking
Mr Tasty Face’s face
I put my paws arownd him
And lik all over the place.

The Food Lady’s nice, too…
She helps me with my blog.
And reminds me that, “On the innernet,
No one knows yer a dawg."

--- a poem by Skeezix the Cat

A Poem by Skeezix the Cat

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/poem-by-skeezix-cat.html

The Tuf New Jerzey Cat

My big bruther Mao told me this storey he red on the innernet abowt a very brave cat hoo chased a black bear hoo was trespassing on his property up a tree. Mao explanes to me how important it is to do yer patrols and be vijilant. I am responsible for patrolling inside the big howse and Mao and Rocky patrol the outside (altho Mao sez that Rocky sticks pretty close to the gutter and sidewok while Mao duz the hevvy lifting by patroling everything else, including both sideyards, the front yard behind the sidewok, the back yard, and the big square lake). All that werk makes Mao cranky.

Anyway, I thot maybe Mao was telling me an urban legend about the cat and the bear, so I looked it up myself, and shoor enuf, it's a troo storey! Yoo can read it here: "Territorial New Jersey cat proves his mettle by chasing black bear up tree." Mao sez the cats are all mobbed up in New Jerzey, so they're espeshully tuf. Since this cat Jack lives in New Jerzey, he probably lives close to Satriale's Pork Store. Yum!

I just wonder if Jack wood be so kwik to chase a vishus deer up a tree. Come on over to Castro Valley, Jack, and we'll put yoo to the test!

The Tuf New Jerzey Cat

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/tuf-new-jerzey-cat.html

Talking Cats!

Of korse, all cats can talk, we just chooze not to wile we make our plans for werld dominashun. My big bruther Mao talks good. He can say his name reely lowd.

Talking Cats!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/talking-cats.html

Time out to berdie watch!

Here was a foto frum last week, when I was taking a brake frum blogging to chek on the baby berdies outside. You can click the foto to see a bigger verzhun.

Time out to berdie watch!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/time-out-to-berdie-watch.html

Gutter Grass

Here's my outside frend Rocky eeting gutter grass. He may eet and sleep in the gutter, but he doesn't poop there. For that he hits the mulch in the flower beds. Rocky loves to poop in mulch, espeshully if its rite out of the bag.

Gutter Grass

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/gutter-grass.html

Me and Tigger

I only git to play with my outside frend Tigger thru the screen at the back door becuz the Food Lady sez he cood have dizeezes. He reely likes me becuz win he seez me, he comes running up to the screen door and rubs aginst it and lets me sniff his poop hole thru the screen. And then he rolls on his back and shows me his spotted belly. The Food Lady gives him something called "nip" and then he huffs it and rubs in it and gits all silly, and then he sez "Skeezix, let's get in that bloo masheen and get some munchies at Jack in the Box. I'll werk the brakes if yoo drive." So I run to the Food Lady and ask her for the keys to the bloo masheen, but she just thinks I'm asking for more Fancy Feast Sliced Turkey in Gravy, and after a wile, I give up and go take a nap. I wunder what a Jack in the Box is.

Me and Tigger

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/me-and-tigger.html

Even MORE berdie fotos!

Here are the yello berdies I see outside. They are called goldfinches. The brite yello ones are american goldfinches, and the duller cullered ones are lesser goldfinches. There are hundreds, maybe even thowsands* (maybe even MILLIONS) of them that come to visit our feeder evry day. They make my hart flitter. They are heer all yeer, but more of them in the summer. Yummy, huh?
_______________________
*I don't know exactly how many becuz I can only count to three.

Even MORE berdie fotos!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/even-more-berdie-fotos.html

Put me on yer desktop

Put me and my big bruther Mao on yer desktop!
Just click the "Join Cats in Hats" link in the grey bar below.

Put me on yer desktop

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/put-me-on-yer-desktop.html

No more berdies :-(

Well, last nite the Food Lady put on her binokulars and was able to track the berdies frum the nest as they flew around in the trees and stuff. The muther berdie would catch a big bug (like a daddy long legs) and then cherp and cherp saying to her babeys "Come and get it!" but the baby berdies were having too much fun to come and get it. They sorta played a Marco Polo game where yoo cood heer them cherp back and forth. I cood see them out the window. It made me hungry. But tonite, no cherping. I hope the vishus deer outside didn't come out of the forest to eet them.

No more berdies :-(

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/no-more-berdies.html

I'm gonna be a gangsta!

My deer innernet frend Kismet, the big man cat, is sending me a girly gangsta outfit that is too small for him. I can't wait! I'm practicin' my mooooves and my groooves so that I will be reddy. My deer innernet frend Kismet has his own blog, and his very own innate fashun sense. He has green eyes like my outside frend Rocky.

I'm gonna be a gangsta!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/im-gonna-be-gangsta.html

The Dirty Golden Bear

My silly innernet frend Shabby sent me this foto that his dad made --- ware he changed my Cal swetter to a Stanford swetter. This made the Food Lady very happy. Yoo can see the original foto here.

The Dirty Golden Bear

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/dirty-golden-bear.html

The Berdies Flew the Coop!

This morning, I didn't heer the usual thunderus korus of chirping frum the baby berds, so the Food Lady looked and thare nest was empty. I can still heer single little chirps in the trees outside, but the Food Lady sez that soon I won't even heer that. I can see the little berdies flying by the window outside. It is engrossing*. The muther berdie is now teeching her babies how to ketch bugs, and then soon, the baby berdies will be gone forever. But the muther berdie mite make sum more baby berdies soon, like she did last yeer. I don't know, I think she'd better cleen her little catbed up before she does becuz thare's a lot of berdie poop on it.
____________________
* I looked it up at m-w.com. It meens "taking up the attention completely."

The Berdies Flew the Coop!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/berdies-flew-coop.html

I'm no lamer!!

Well, my frend Shabby did sum Skeezix research and found out what "Skeezix" meens in sumthing called slang:

According to: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=skeezix

Skeezix also means:
Jivin' cool slang fo' a total loser, lamer, pencil necked geek.

Shabby was quik to let me know that he didn't think I was a loser.

I'm no lamer!!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/im-no-lamer.html

Mr Tasty Face Came Home!!!!!!!!

Oh, I am so happy happy happy. HAPPY! Mr Tasty Face came thru the door just win I thot I'd never see him agin. And about 2 minits later, he started playing with me, and asking the Food Lady if she'd played with me enuf. (She hadn't ... she prefers to do the kissy-face/cuddle stuff with me insted.) I'm a happy, happy boy! Gotta go..... Mr Tasty Face wants to play!!!!!!!

Mr Tasty Face Came Home!!!!!!!!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/mr-tasty-face-came-home.html

Mr Tasty Face has not been eeten by creechurs

I know yer all on the edje of yer seats wondering what happend to Mr Tasty Face. I still don't know, but last nite, when the fone rang, after the Food Lady tokked on it a wile, she pressed a button and the voice of Mr Tasty Face came out of the fone box. He wissled like he does, and sed my name, but I don't know how he fit inside that teeny little box. After a while, the Food Lady pressed a button agin and his voice wint away, and she tokked into the box for a wile and sed "I luv yoo," and put the fone box bak on the shelf. So even tho I don't know what happened to Mr Tasty Face, at leest he dent get eeten by those vishus deer or other creechurs in the forest.

Mr Tasty Face has not been eeten by creechurs

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/mr-tasty-face-has-not-been-eeten-by.html

FAK

I git lots of kwesschunz frum my innernet frends, so now I'm going to anser them in one place:

How did yoo git yer name?

Mr Tasty Face's father had 4 boyz, and he used "Skeezix" as a nikname when he called one of them. Skeezix is a comic strip karacter frum "Gasoleen Alley." Win the Food Lady brot me home and she and Mr Tasty Face tried to think of a name, they thot of "Hoover" (becuz I always vakyoom up my food), "Dyson" (same reezun), "Oreck" (same reezun), and "Spot" (becuz I sort of had spots, and it was the name of Data's cat on Star Trek TNG. But when Mr Tasty Face thot of Skeezix, the name stuk becuz I looked like a "Skeezix" and it was a fun werd to say. And it's distinktiv. (And supposedly, it's slang for motherless calf.) My big bruther Mao sez it's not a very dignified name. (Like "Maobert Schnickels" is a dignified name.)

Why do yoo call him Mr Tasty Face?

Becuz every single day I put my 2 frunt paws arownd his nek and lik and lik and lik him becuz I luv him so much and his face is so tasty. I never lik the Food Lady's face, becuz it wood be sick to lik a gerl. You can reed more in my February 23, 2006 blog. Becuz of all the likking with my sand-papery tung, Mr Tasty Face has very nice skin. In fact, a waytruss at the Harris Ranch resternt commented on it, according to the Food Lady.

How did yoo lern to blog?

The Food Lady knows all about blogging, and she helped me. She thot it wood be a good way to divert my attenshun frum attaking my big bruther Mao all day long.

What's with all of the clothes you ware?

I'll admit, I'm a clotheshorse. Since I'm a hairless white runt, I git reely cold, so the clothes keep me warm. My faverit color is pink, so a lot of my clothes are pink.

Ware is Castro Valley?

It's by the big forest. Bullevard Pet Hospital is there.

How many frends do yoo have?

Hundreds. I meet frends on myspace.com and catster and cats reed my blog and email me.

Ware can I by a Skeezix the Cat tshurt?

You can buy it here.

Does yer big bruther Mao have a blog?

Yes, but I don't promote it becuz he sez meen things about me. But if yoo insist, his blog is "Mao's Mews" and you can reed it here.

Does yer outside frend Rocky have a blog?

No, silly. Rocky is too old for the innernet and besides, he sleeps in the gutter all day and there isn't a compyooter in the gutter.

How do I get an XML feed of your blog?

It's easy. This is the URL of the feed: http://www.skeezixthecat.com/atom.xml.
Just enter the URL in your RSS feed reeder.

Are you a purebred?

Well, I have papers, but I think sumthing wint wrong and my mom was a ho, becuz I don't look like a purebred, unless there's such a thing as a purebred big-eared cross-eyed freek! Ha ha ha.

Why aren't there any fotos of the Food Lady in yer blog?

Becuz she's the one taking the pikchurs with the camra masheen, silly.

Why don't yoo wear pants?

Silly, cats don't wear pants! Except for my frend Navin R. Johnson-Davis hoo is missing sum vertabrays and can't control his pooper.

FAK

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/fak.html

How I spent this boring day

Click here to look at the videeyo of the infinit cat project. It has good myoosik, 2. It was created by Alok Saldhanha. I cood spend an infinit amownt of time looking at the infinit cats at the infinit cat project. Yoo cats out there can be part of the project. Here's how.

PS: That is not my outside frend Rocky in the pikchur, even tho it looks exactly like him. Yoo can tell that this is not Rocky becuz this cat is not sleepin' in the gutter outside the big howse in wich I am imprisoned.

How I spent this boring day

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/how-i-spent-this-boring-day.html

I'm very depressed

I'm so sad. And bord. My best frend Simon can't git on the compyooter for 10 days and 10 nites becuz his cozy laps wint away inside the big silver berdie to visit Iceland, which sownds cold. I don't think Iceland is by Castro Valley ware I live, becuz it's not very cold in Castro Valley, altho we do have plenty of ice in that big box in the kitchen. The Food Lady was not home last nite until it was time for her to crawl into her big heeted cat bed, and Mr Tasty Face never came home. I hope he didn't git eeten by big vishus creechurs, like those big deer outside that my frend Rocky tells me about. So me and my big bruther Mao got to sleep in the Food Lady's cat bed. Unfortunately, since Mr Tasty Face wasn't arownd, I got brekfist late, in fact, just minits before I keeled over with starvation, becuz the Food Lady sleeps way longer than Mr Tasty Face who gits up win it is still dark. And Mr Tasty Face still isn't here. I try to make the Food Lady go out and look for him, but she's bizzy doing other stuff. She obveeusly doesn't realize what danger he cood be in.

Wo! I feel some Skee-kooz^TM coming on!

No one's face to lik
Mr Tasty Face is gone.
What creechur ate him?

------>^..^<------

Slept with Food Lady
Across her warm nek, purring
Should I pownce on Mao?

--- Skee-kooz^TMby Skeezix the Cat

I'm very depressed

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/im-very-depressed_03.html

My Frend Shabby

Here is a pikchur of my innernet frend, Shabby. Shabby lives on the edge of a forest, just like me, and so he gits so see lots of forest creechurs like possums and coonz, just like I do. And in an even bigger coincidence, he also has had that thing done to his goodie sack that takes away his urges. I have never seen such a furry, fluffy cat before. I bet he hardly ever has to ware a swetter! As yoo can see, he looks very much like Lewis the Cat.

My Frend Shabby

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/my-frend-shabby.html

Berdie Pikchurs!

The Food Lady took a pikchur of the berdies tonite. Look at this foto: aren't they just YUMMY looking? They are extreemly lowd now, and it makes me very excited all day long win I lissen to them.

And here is the berdie muther. She's called a blak feebie:

And here's one more. It's not a feebie. It's a pointy-heded bloo berdie that I see evry morning. He comes to git peenuts that the Food Lady puts out for him and Mr Sqwerl. You can see the peenut in his mouth as he gits reddy to fly away into the forest. (Sorry the pikchur isn't very good becuz the Food Lady was behind the screen door when she made the camra go clik.)

Hope yoo enjoyed theez berdie pikchurs!!
--- Skeezix the Cat

Berdie Pikchurs!

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/berdie-pikchurs_01.html

June is Adopt-a-Cat Month

If yoo are a singul cat living alone, I'm sure yoo know how lonely it is, and I bet yoo wish yoo had a fun baby bruther like me to play with. Well, tell yer peeple that June is Adopt-a-Cat month at the Capital Area Humane Society which is in a place called Ohio*. Even if yoo don't live neer Ohio, yer peeple can still adopt a baby bruther for yoo frum yer local animal shelter or reskyoo assoseeayshun assoc. Here are sum examples:

KittyKind Inc.
Capital Area Humane Society
Siamese Cat Rescue
Marin Humane Society
East Bay Humane Society
San Francisco ASPCA

For example, This is Buster:

HE LIVES IN CASTRO VALLEY LIKE ME!!! But I'm imprisoned inside the big howse (aka Gwantanamo), so I have not met him persunally. But yoo can see that he is very hansum and nice to other cats, and he dezervz a nice home. You can find out more about Buster here. It doesn't say if he is good at riting blogs like me, but I'd be happy to teech him my craft.
____________________________
* I don't know ware Ohio is, or if it's by Castro Valley, ware I live.

June is Adopt-a-Cat Month

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2006/06/june-is-adopt-cat-month.html