A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
I got anuther messije in my cat box today. It was a big explanayshun point. I don't know whut they were trying to explane, and I sercht for other parts of the messije, but eether that was the ixtent of the messije, or the other parts got barried.
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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24 Comments:
Hmmm ... Skeezix, it seems to me that you could be reading too much into the "poop secret message" angle.
Me thinks that Mao is just messin' with you.
DMM
Oh dat is stranje, wut can it mean? Mum sez I do dog sized poops, but Eric hoo is lots bigger than me only duz littull bullits, an has to haf stuff put on his paw to do bigger ones. An anuvver fing, when he's cuvvered up, he gets outta the box an scrapes the floor furr ages. He duz that when he has Stinky Goodness he duzn't like as well. Fink he's trying to tell mum it tastes like poop.
well ...
yooz yer imaginashun ...
"J!"
it can onlee meen one thing.
luv--yer grate frend--jh
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Skeez, yoo doofus, it's EXKLAMAYSHUN point, not EXPLANAYSHUN point. Sheese, do I have to teech yoo EVRYTHING??????
Skeezix, you are a cat of many talents. Add to your list of skills: "Master Poopologist" I am very impressed!
I dunno if there's anything to this poop reading thing but I know for sure that I'm gonna have to put off blogging till after I eat... :P
Maybe it's an "i" snf not s "!"
-Eliot
My woman said, "YUCK!" Honestly, Skeezix, there must be more attractive thinks you could take pictures of.
I spend as little time contemplating the contents of the litterbox as possible. Bad enough sharing it wif Victor... and who's aposed to be cleaning it???
Hahaha, yoo've got seckret msgs in yer stinkies. We agree with DaisyMae...mao is up to sumthing!
Mom says it may something like runes or i ching or interpreting a tarot card layout. The answer is inside you and you just have to let it out.
:::no pun intended:::
Skeezix, I think you have too much free time on your hands. Maybe you need a hobby.
I once left a message in my litter box. It was a prediction. On the eve of the 2002 World Cup (soccer) final between Brazil and Germany, I did a pee that spread out into the shape of the Brazilian land mass. Brazil, of course, went on to win the final. This is 100% true; several independent humans can verify this. If only my housepeople were the wagering kind!!
I fink you message is just cover We think you a cat of menmny talltles
I think I've figured it out:
J! is for January!
Next month you'll probably find
F!
Knead On ~
I fink da message iz dat sumone needs to show Mao how to cover his dookies.
Oh. Stare at it! It looks like the Virgin Mary!
Doooooood...you could sell it on eBay! Make a million bucks!
Now this is just gross!!!
We do not contemplate our poop we hide it in the garden for the gardener to find LOL!
Uh... Skeezix you are too funny! I'd die if my bro's displayed my poo!!!!
There is a whole litter of mystical Indian cats who can read poop. I suggest you take a pilgrimage to Asia to meditate and study their art so that you too can see the hidden messages in your litter tray. FAZ
p.s. your t-shirt just arrived and I am very excited. My human is going to wear it but I plan to sleep on it first.
Skeezix, that might be borderline gross... but since you opened that door, can I say that your Food Lady is very brave for getting a close up shot of the sh*t. MOL!
p.s. it looks like a "!" to me.
we're rollin' on the floor laffin' over here. furrst from your post. then you've got some of the most hysterical responses. we can't even catch our breath long enough to think of something brilliant to say.
And haf a poopy day!
LOKi
I think you'd better find your decoder ring to try and decipher this message. Maybe you should put on your cape & mask too, to get your superpowers working.
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