A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
Rocky told me that a good way to become a Big Man Cat is to git scars. So he gave me one. He's a good frend that way. He also sed it's good for gitting chiks becuz it brings owt thare maternul instinks. Heer is a pikchur of my new scar. I pointid to it with the arrow. It will probably be thare for the rest of my life. It duzn't hert.... much.Labels: big man cat, love advice to a poor loozer like me hoo can't git a gerlfrend, rocky, scar
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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