A daily journal by the ugliest, stinkiest cat ever born.
That psyko stray cat Tripper had a few too many Bushmills and Greenies tonite, and he past owt kold. AND HE'S NOT EVEN IRISH!!! Mao dubbul-dared me to stik Trip's paw in a glass of warm water so he'd wet himself, but I'm a-scared to git close to Trip becuz he'll eet me -- or bunnykik me so hard that all my skin comes off. Boy, I bet he'll be up in a few howrs blowin' chunks!Labels: bushmills, st. patrick's day, that psyko stray cat tripper
I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.
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