Skeezix's Scratching Post

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!

WARNING: GRAFIK AND TERRYFYING FOTO BEELOW.

NOT APPROPREEYUT FOR YUNG CATS.

My best frend 'Kaika sent me this foto of yer yard, ware a marawding band of vishus deer was terrerizing the nayberhood and looking for tender yung joosy cats to eet for dinner:

Needless to say, I wet my pants win I saw it, and I HAVE NOT HERD FRUM 'KAIKA SINSE!!!!

Labels: ikaika, tender yung joosy cats, vishus deer

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We Are The Kitties

Skeezix heart Daisy

: Name: Skeezix the Cat; Location: Castro Valley, California, US

I was born the runt of the litter, and I'm still a scrawny little runt. Altho I'm allejidly a purebred Simeze/Balineze (I have "papers"!), I used to think maybe my mom was a ho and my dad was not the same dad that my byootiful sisters had until my best innernet frend Shabby pointed me to the Wikipedia entry for Oriental Shorthairs, and I fownd the Skeezix Family, including my twin, Mighty Mite. I have crossed eyes, a crook in my tale, satellite dish ears, a very lowd voice and really screwed up splotchy coloring. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm a kyoot mess. The Food Lady pikt me insted of pikking one of my byootiful sisters becuz I was spunky and outgoing and the butt-ugliest thing she'd ever seen. I make up for these shortcomings by being extremely personable, affekshunit and funny. Every morning, I lik Mr Tasty Face's tasty face to thank him for letting me stay. And I'm lucky becuz I have a big bruther, Mao, who teeches me things like how to be a picky eeter and how to project my voice frum the bottom of the stares to wake everybody up. Mao's the best big bruther in the entire werld.

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Me and my big bruther Mao saved up owr allowinse to sponser Meech and we're glad we did. Yoo can sponser yer own cat for just $25. Clik heer to find owt how.

Offishul Skeezix the Cat T-Shirt

Fry Yer Fleez!
This werks reely good. Even tho they put Flee Joos on me to kill the fleez for a month, I sometimes git a few in between applicashuns and this is better than a flee comb becuz it frys the fleez. Yoo can see littul sparx, even!

Skeezix in his pink polo shirt

My Pink Shurt
A couple of fashun plate kitties have emailed me to ask ware they can get a pink shert like mine. I ware a small, but if yer bigger than runt-size, you'll need a medium.