Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 30

Thirteen things I've bin doing sinse my big bruther Mao has bin on the lamb.

1. Lernd it's not "on the lamb" but "on the lam." Wich still makes no sense.
2. Used the Google to find owt why they call it "on the lam." Heer's whut the Werd Detektive sed:
   

   Dear Word Detective: I've been asked to find the derivation of the phrase "on the lam." The dictionaries of slang that I have in my office cite usages in the 1920s (I can see just see Cagney hiking his pants and preparing to outwit them coppers). But none of them explains how "on the lam" came to mean "on the run." My reputation is on the line here. Please help. -- B. Marcus, via the Internet.
   
   ... "on the lam" has been popular American slang for "on the run" since at least the latter part of the 19th century. The root of "lam" is the Old Norse word "lamja," meaning "to make lame," and the original meaning of "lam," back in the 16th century, was "to beat soundly."
   
   The change in the meaning of "lam" from "beat" to "run away" may have echoed another slang term for running away -- "beat it." To "beat it" is to rapidly beat the road with one's feet by running. Similarly, an escapee's feat "lam" the road as he heads for the cornfield. And now I must excuse myself. The sun is setting, and I have just a few hours to train my cats to bark like Dobermans. '

3. Fownd owt that the Werd Detektive is a cat persun.

4. Not sleeping well. Mao is a good cushun and he's vary warm to cuddle with. Rocky won't cuddle with me.

5. Lernt that Mao has frends I've never herd of, like Mocha and Kami.

6. Praktissing my karry-okey. Mao always makes fun of my singing, but I think that with enuf praktiss, I cood be on American Idul.

7. Applied to be on the teevee show, "Amerika's Top Modul." Mao always poo-poos ideas like this, so with him away, the sky's the limit. I mite even have my own omnipeedia empire by the time he gits bak.

8. Not playing. With Rocky grownded and Mao away, thare's no wun to play and rassle with. So I've been playin' with myself, but it's not much fun.

9. Did sum sketches for my new Fall Fashun line. It's eezier to do it withowt Mao arownd becuz he just sez things like, "That looks stoopid," or "Enuf with the pink alreddy, bro!" and then I have to argue with him and that slows me down.

10. Tride to think of sum way to git sent to prizzin so the Pink Ladies cood brake ME owt!

11. Wunderd why prizziners are stuk waring eether blak and white horizontul stripes or oranje jumpsoots, neether of wich is a flattering look. I think pale pink catsuits wood be nice for them sinse they woodn't be abul to hide weppuns vary eezily and pink is a color that's flattering to EVRYWUN, even Charles Mansun and OJ. Maybe I cood start a prizzin fashun reeform inishitive.

12. Sukt my toze a lot wile grooming. Mao is always on my case abowt sukking my toze. Like he's one to talk. He's the werst toe sukker EVER. So now I can suk my toze as lowd as I wunt and nobuddy will git on my case.

13. Look owt the window to see if Mao's on his way home.

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 30

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/04/thursday-thirteen-edishun-30.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 29

Thirteen fashun tips frum Skeezix the Cat (and frends)

1) Aksesserize. For example, I cood've just worn this vary cool blak lether vest by itself, but to add a littul pizzazz, I added my NEW PINK COWBOY HAT!!!!!! Yoo can planely see in the ixzampul beelow what a diffrinse a singul aksessery can make!

just the blak vest (BORING!!):
add the pink cowboy hat (snappy!):

2) Wile we're ooohing and ahhhing over my new blak lether vest, let's moove onto tip number 2: the devil is in the deetales! This meens that the diffrinse between blah and aah! is in the deetales of eech peese of clothing yoo ware. Lookey heer: Yoo've got 1) a kyoot wite bow that reely is set off nicely aginst the blak lether; 2) a roze wich sends a suttle signul that yer a romantik; 3) a skull and crossbones: edgy --- it keeps them gessing; 4) Wite lace, wich carries thru the theme establisht with the wite bow; and 5) Blak lace -- adds a little MRAO! and pulls it all together, and also gits a nice yin-yang energy going aginst the wite lace. This jakkit has good fang schway. And did I menshun it's KYOOT!

3) Don't be afrade to brake the roolz. For ixzampul, yer mother probly always told yoo that cats shood NEVER ware howndstooth. But my speshul frend Daisy prooves that howndsteeth can be a bold fashun statement!

4) If yer a lardbutt, don't ware tites:

That shood go withowt saying, yet obveeusly, it needs to be reiterated becuz sum cats didn't git the memo.

5) Vertikul stripes are slimming, and vary snappy! If yer fluffy, vertikul stripes are an exsillint fashun choice. Duzn't Lilly Lu look SMASHING?

6) Dimunds are a gerl's best frend. Don't skrimp on the joolry! My best frend Rocky Ann still knows how to werk it even tho she's sixteen yeers old ... we cood lern a LOT frum RA!

7) It's okay to ware a cap if yer having a bad hare day:

8) Evrybuddy looks FABYULUS in a pink satin bathrobe. It's a timeless look that will serve yoo well in any fashun sichuayshun.

9) Speeking of pink: yoo can never have too much of it, as illustrayted by Sabi beelow:

10) If yer a big man cat, the Hugh Hefner smoking jakkit is as essenchul a part of yer wardrobe as yer James Bond dinner jakkit!

11) Sumtimes, it's okay to only ware a hat --- if it's a GOOD hat!

12) Polo sherts are kinda dull, so it's better to git wun with some stripey colors at the nek and sleeves to jazz it up a littul so yoo don't look like yer frum Snoresville, USA.

13) Don't hold bak frum buying kyoot holiday clothes just becuz yoo can only ware them once a yeer! Yoo only have nine lives, so live it up! (But if yoo ware a turkey swetter on Thanksgiving, make shur they don't mistake yoo for the turkey.)

Thanks to Kismet, Daisy, Pixie, Rocky Ann, Rocky, Lilly Lu, Mao and Sabi!!!

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 29

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/04/thursday-thirteen-edishun-29.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 28

Things I love abowt Easter:

1. Bunnies. I wish I had sum.


2. Colors. Thare's lots of pink and yellow and baby bloo. It is the prittiest holiday becuz of the nice colors.


3. Gitting to ware my bunny slippers that Kimo & Sabi sent me.


4. Egg Salad!


5. Ham!


6. Baby chiks. Vary Kyoot. I wish I had sum of them, too!


7. The pink grass in my Eester Baskit, wich is GRATE to play with.


8. Dekerating my stroler for Eester.


9. Since I kinda look like the Eester bunny, peepul treet me like a sellebrity.


10. Gitting to ware the speshul Eester owtfit that the Food Lady made me. Gess whut? It's PINK!


11. Gitting to watch the moovey Eester Parade, wich stars Joody Garlund, hoo is just abowt my faverit aktress and singer ever ixsept maybe Barbra Striseand.


12. Gitting to go owt on my harniss and serch for Eester eggs.


13. Gitting to see whut kind of a fabyulus Eester dress and Eester bonnit my speshul frend Daisy is waring.

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 28

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/04/thursday-thirteen-edishun-28.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 25

Since my speshul frend Daisy shode herself eeting a PEEPS^® beek yesterday, I deesided to do my T13 on PEEPS^® Fun Fakts:

1. If yoo took all the PEEPS^® eeten at Eester and laid them end-to-end, they wood more than circle Earth's sircumfrinse.
   
2. The number of PEEPS^® made eech day cood lay a path frum the faktery door in Bethlehem, PA to the state of Maryland.
   
3. The PEEPS masheens at the Just Born faktery can add 3800 PEEPS eyes per minit.
   
4. It wood take approximitly 172 millyun PEEPS bunnies end-to-end to circle the moon.


5. PEEPS have beecome gormay faverits as fondues, krem broolay ingreedients and capoochino toppings.


6. In 2002, a guy named Jason consoomed 72 PEEPS in 1/2 howr.


7. Yellow chiks are the most popyuler, followed by PINK, lavender, bloo and wite.
   
8. Lavender was added in 1995, and bloo was added in 1998.
   
9. PEEPS' eyes are made of carnauba wax.


10. How many PEEPS wood yoo need lined up beek-to-tale to reech frum Noo York to Los Anjelus? Over 70 millyun.
    
11. PEEPS have bin arownd since 1953. In 1953, the Just Born compunny hoo now makes PEEPS bot the Rodda Candy Cumpunny hoo made marshmello chiks. In 1954, Just Born developt speshul masheens that cood make sqwillyuns of chiks at one time. Just Born evenchully became the biggest marshmello candy maker in the hole entire werld.


12. In the 1960s, Just Born began to make marshmello CATS! They also made Krissmiss trees and Halloween pumkins.


13. Noo PEEPS introdoost reesintly inklood Green PEEPS Chiks, Coco Bunnies and Sugar-Free PEEPS chiks (sugar-free???? Whut's the point???)
    

• Reed importunt Reeserch kondukted by PEEPS heer.

The PEEPS JEEP:

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 25

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/03/thursday-thirteen-edishun-25.html

Thursday Thirteen Edishun 25

The past cuppul of weeks I did Lion and Tiger fakts. I was going to do Bear fakts this week, but coodn't find vary many. So insted, I'm doing the mitey Cheetah. Cheetahs are listed as an endanjerd species.

1. Cheetahs grow to 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 feet long and way between 75 and 145 pownds.
2. Males live in small permanent groops called "coalitions" made up of two to four brothers.
3. In the wild they live 8-10 yeers. In zoos, up to 17 yeers old.
4. Feemale cheetahs live alone, ixsept win razing cubs.
5. Cheetahs uzhully hunt on the middle of the day to avoid lions and leperds.
6. Many cheetahs suffer from jenetik deefekts due to inbreeding, possibly frum a sharp dekline in populayshun as far bak as 10,000 yeers ago.
7. Only 8,000 - 10,000 wild cheetahs survive.
8. In Namibia, ranchers may legully shoot cheetahs that pray on livestok.
9. The werld's fastest mammul, the cheetah can aksellerate from 0-45 miles per howr in abowt 2 sekunds, and in short bursts can go neerly 65 miles per howr.
10. Cheetahs' tales are abowt 30 inches long and offin have a wite tip.
11. Cheetahs live in savannas and are not fownd in forest areas or wetlands. (They probly don't live in the forest becuz the vishus deer wood eet them.)
12. Cheetahs mostly eet hoofed animuls that way less than 90 pownds.
13. In the 16th sentury, emperers and other royalty hunted gazelles with trayned cheetahs.
    

Klik heer to find owt whut yoo can do to help save the wild cheetah.

Thursday Thirteen Edishun 25

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/03/thursday-thirteen-edishun-24_15.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 24

Since last week was Lion Trivia, I'm doing Tiger Trivia this week becuz my big bruther Mao sed that the tigers hoo reed my blog mite feel slited and come to my howse and eet me if I don't rite abowt them, too. So heer we go:

1. A group of tigers is called a 'streak'.


2. ‘Tigons’ have a tiger father and lioness mother, but ‘ligers’ are fathered by lions with a tiger mother. Just ask Napoleon Dynamite.


3. In the last century, tiger numbers have declined by a 95 per cent. Its only predator is man.
4. Tigers not only have stripes on their fur, but also on their skin.
5. Stripe patterns often differ between the two sides of the tiger’s body.
6. Tiger night-vision is more than five times better than that of humans.
7. Adult tigers are solitary hunters.
8. Adult tigers can eat up to 60 lbs of food at one sitting. After a big kill, they may not eat again for a week or two.
9. When hunting, tigers only manage to catch prey in one out of 10-20 attempts. (Compare this to my speshul frend Daisy's hunting suksess: she gits her lizzerd at leest 50% of the time.)
10. Tigers love water and are great swimmers.
11. A tiger's roar can be heard two or three kilometres away.
12. Total length ranges from seven to 12 feet.
13. It is estimated that well over 10,000 tigers live in captivity around the world, which means there are currently more tigers in captivity than in the wild.

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 24

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/03/thursday-thirteen-edishun-24.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 23

Thirteen Fakts Abowt Lions

Since they say March goze in like a lion, I thot I'd run thru a few fasinayting lion fakts for my Thursday Thirteen:

1. The hunting grounds for a pride of lions can range from 8 to 150 square miles.
2. A male lion weighs from 330 to 420 pounds. The largest lion on record was almost 11 feet long and weighed nearly 700 pounds.
3. A lion's average life span is 13 years but a lion named "Nero" once lived to the ripe old age of 29 in a West German zoo.
4. Catnip can affect lions and tigers as well as house cats.
5. There are only one fourth the number of lions in Africa as there were just 40 years ago.
6. A lion's eyesight is five times better than a human's, and it can hear prey that is more then a mile away.
7. A male lion eats first, even though the females actually catch the prey.
8. A captive lion eats about 15 pounds of meat each day, but a wild lion usually eats only twice a week.
9. Lions are the most social of all the cats, living in groups called "prides." There can be up to 40 members in a pride with over half of them being cubs and young adults.
10. Lions hunt by ambush. Their main prey includes medium to large-sized mammals such as antelope, buffalo, zebra, giraffe, warthog and vishus deer, but they will also scavenge for food.
11. African lions are listed as Vulnerable by the 2000 IUCN red list. The Asiatic lion (P.l.persica) is classed as Critically Endangered. Threats include hunting, loss of habitat and human encroachment.
12. One of the few animals that will attack lions are hyenas, which will kill an injured lion, or if food is scarce, will occasionally attack a healthy one.
13. "Singapore" means "City of Lions".

Yer Bonus Faktoid: Actor Sylvester Stallone once had a job as a lion cage cleaner.

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 23

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/03/thursday-thirteen-edishun-23.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 22

UPDATE: The Thursday Thirteen Website is shutting down, but I am setting up a blog site (ttcats.com) this weekend to provide a spot for us to post owr TT links in one place. Stay toond!

More intristing serch frayzes used to git to my website (based on my traffik reeports):

1. ferengi fashion
2. big butt fotos
3. my frends hot mom
4. smeared poop
5. grayvee free videos (22 seprit serches for this term)
6. mom likes me best
7. big lady's pumpkin butt (this fraze comes up agin and agin in my logs)
8. wate rimes with sausage
9. pictures of human baby ears
10. anul piles
11. big terds
12. daddy yankee fur of animal in his clothes
13. went to a party and someone poke me with a needle and i felt dizzy and sleepy and was put into a straight jacket

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 22

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/02/thursday-thirteen-edishun-22.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 21

The Thirteen Reezins this was the BEST VD EVER IN MY HOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!

1. Daisy kist me at the VD Party.
2. Daisy kist me on Valentine's morning.
3. I got to match up sum of my frends with the loves of thare lifes.
4. Mao is not as cranky now that he's no longer a lonely old bachler cat.
5. I got to ware my pink satin bathrobe.
6. I wun secund runner up in the Catster "Men in Pink" Competishun.
7. I got to praktiss my wooing skills.
8. The secund time Daisy kist me, I only wet my pants a littul tiny bit. In fakt, it mite have only bin a littul flopswet, not pee.
9. I got to give the award for best valentine to my frends Pixie and IBB.
10. The Food Lady and Mr TF ate dinner at home insted of going owt, wich ment I got a littul tiny peese of lobster.
11. I lerned how to werk sizzers so I cood cut owt Daisy's valentine. This is an importunt marketubul skill that cood help me git a grate job sumday.
12. Evrything (inklooding Daisy) is dekerated in pink and red on VD. Pink is my faverit color and I got to see a lot of it!
13. Daisy gave me a GORJUS hot pink romper dress with Xs and Os all over it, and a littul button that sez SMOOCH! It's like gitting kisses frum Daisy evry day!!!!!

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 21

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/02/thursday-thirteen-edishun-21.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 20

Thirteen things I need to do to git reddy for Beau Beau and Angie's Party:

1. Pick out a really cute outfit to wear
2. Find owt whut Daisy's waring frum Pixie, just to make shur that me and Daisy won't be waring the same thing.
3. Get some Cover-Stick to hide the scar under my eye. Or shood I show it off?
4. Have hot pink Softpaws put on my fingernails.
5. Go to Bullevard Pet Hospitul for a good kleening of my teeths, and maybe to git sum butt putty so I don't have the sqwerts during the party.
6. Praktiss mussel pozes.
7. Buy CosmoCat magazine so I can learn more abowt whut gerl cats talk abowt. My big bruther Mao sez knowlidje is power, and it will help me know win Daisy is trying to use her feminin wiles on me.
8. Find owt whut feminin wiles meens.
9. Practice conversations. My best frend Jeter Harris sugjested, "How abowt dem Yankees?" but yoo know, I'm not shur that wood werk on Daisy. Rocky the Gutter Cat sugjested, "Hey thare. Wanna do it?" but frankly, I think yoo need to be more specifik abowt whut yoo wunt to do. Mao sez to let Daisy do all the talking becuz she seems reel good at that. Maybe that's whut I'll do.
10. Practice greeting Daisy's mom. "Good evening, Mrs Curly Cat. Yoo are looking espeshully byootiful this evening. It's eezy to see ware Daisy gits her good looks." Watch more Leave it to Beaver episodes becuz Eddie Haskul duz this reely good.
11. Practiss not wetting my pants.
12. Clean the stroler and make shur the weels are reel shiney. Git Mr TF to install the bevrije holder.
13. By a korsaje for Daisy, and reemind Icon to git one for Pixie.

Rocky sez I shood also take a bunch of his primo nip for Daisy becuz it will inkreese the chanses that I "git sum" wink wink. Git sum whut? He woodn't say - he just sed, "yoo know..." and he winked agin. I think Rocky was loded becuz none of it made any sense to me and he reefyoozed to ixplane.

OMG! I don't think I can git all this dun beefore tomorrow nite!!!!

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 20

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/02/thursday-thirteen-edishun-20.html

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 19

Thirteen Things I'm looking for in a Valentine:

1. Good penminship.
2. Likes lizzerds.
3. Good circus skills.
4. Kerly hare.
5. Big ears (meens she's a good lissener)
6. Feerlissness. Like, abul to do battle with the grate wildebeest and live to tell the tail.
7. Grate fashun sense.
8. Likes PINK.
9. Has a kyoot older sister so maybe me and one of my frends cood dubble-date (pavin' the way for yoo, IBB!).
10. Smaller than me.
11. Smart. Looks good in professer glassess and a pink hedband.
12. Likes to ride in the stroler.
13. Career gerl. Like maybe, has a Lois Lane kind of job as a gerl reepurrter.

Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 19

http://www.skeezixthecat.com/scratchingpost/2007/02/thursday-thirteen-edishun-19.html